For the past week, I felt like I've somewhat lost my bearings, as though I was a fresh immigrant trying to get myself accustomed to the ways and practices of a new society.

And that's paradoxical in every way, since I've been living here for almost all my life. Which makes me wonder: what is making it so hard for me to re-integrate?

I began to evaluate the kind of lifestyle differences that exist, and the many qualities that make an Asian society so dissimilar to a Western society.

In a nutshell, I think we work too hard. And in our mindless pursuits of recognition and opulence, we often forget the true definition of life -- to live with a purpose.

And purpose is not to work and labor just so that you won't lose out to the others around you. That is insecurity and fear, not true happiness.

Sheer bliss should be derived from really small things, like waking up in the morning without the aid of an alarm clock; to eat and be happy and not having to worry about size and proportions; to take your time to do things and not be rushed around.

We always hear that Singaporeans love to complain and we can go on and on to talk about all the things in the world that make us unhappy, but we never give ourselves even one second to ask ourselves WHY are we always so discontented and disgruntled about life? The country is rich, highly-developed and so safe to live in, but why is it that we cannot seem to find peace in ourselves?

Maybe there are some things we can learn from the Caucasians after all. (Please do not confuse this with the Pinkerton Syndrome as I am no fan of the SGPs.)

They don't stress themselves up in school, neither do they OT like nobody's business. They quit their jobs whenever they want, and they spend much more than they save. They live life thinking about what they're gonna do TODAY, and not having to worry about what is going to happen 10 years later. They eat as much as they could, knowing that food and pigging out are the greatest enjoyments in life. They take time off to go on spiritual journeys, to see the world, to embarrass and laugh at themselves when they do something uncustomary at foreign countries. They say hi to strangers and make friends with people of a different color.

In no way am I saying that their way of thinking is more superior than ours, but I just want to justify a very simple point: we Asians are too busy with everything else that we habitually neglect our personal well-being. We walk so fast, think and do so much to make our lives better just to realize that our hearts remain hollow and unloved at the end of the day.

And I do not want to lead a life like that.

I want to be in complete control as of today. I want to study because my heart carries a passion; I want to work because it makes me happy; I want to see money as just an unimportant asset. I don't mind living a simple life as long as there is peace and contentment deep within. That is all that matters to me now.

Bonjour, mon nouvel ami.

Labels: Life