li0nheart

I've moved.

2011-01-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

ieatshampoo.tumblr.com

Originality is dead.

2011-01-04T21:46:00.008+08:00

The new Olympic logo was released a few days ago.

Take a few minutes to study the similarities between these 2 logos:
Oh wait, right... You don't need a few minutes 'cause it's just so bloody obvious.
Don't we just love to see people fail to such an astronomical extent?

But really, none of the above are truly original.

"The Dancer" by Henri Matisse -- a Fauvism artist who was featured in my A levels art theory curriculum.

Tell me HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO NOTICE?

But really, even with all that resemblance, the logo still looks like nothing like acceptable (let's not even mention success.) No style and no energy. No nothing.

I wonder who's gonna beat Beijing in the Olympics...?

我變了

2010-12-26T20:09:00.010+08:00

最近無意間聽到了陶子的一首歌。
歌詞寫的很簡單，編曲也不複雜。
陶子不是甚麼唱將，但她嗓音中的溫柔與徹底帶出了這首歌好多層次的感動。
可能當你真正經歷過了，你才能體會到這首歌的唯美。

我變了碰到你什麼都對了
愛上你下雨也快樂
我變了碰到你什麼都好了
愛上你哭泣也值得

我變了碰到你什麼都算了
只要你在我的身邊唱歌
為什麼這樣呢
為什麼這樣呢
全世界都笑了

我變了碰到你什麼都算了
只要你在我的身邊唱歌
為什麼這樣呢
為什麼這樣呢
全世界都笑了
我變了那你呢

有時候我也希望能夠碰到一個讓我什麼都算了的人。

A Thunderstorm in Town

2010-12-02T21:13:00.007+08:00

She wore a 'terra-cotta' dress,
And we stayed, because of the pelting storm,
Within the hansom's dry recess,
Though the horse had stopped; yea, motionless
We sat on, snug and warm.

Then the downpour ceased, to my sharp sad pain,
And the glass that had screened our forms before
Flew up, and out she sprang to her door:
I should have kissed her if the rain
Had lasted a minute more.

-Thomas Hardy (1893)

It's a heartbreaker no matter how many times I read it
And it kinda reminds me of us
A plug that triggers off involuntarily whenever there is a downpour
And whenever you emote with a language only we understand
Sometimes certain things are better left unsaid
Or the past will come back to haunt us again
A poignant reminder
Of the poor choices we make while we were young and foolish
But my beautiful
Heartrending it may be
I still love you nevertheless
But in ways no one else understands
So the next time precipitate falls
Just close your eyes and pray
And in that one millionth of a second
I'll be there to hold you
For another million years

孩子，是時候長大了。

2010-11-27T12:36:00.023+08:00

既然你選擇了對號入座，那就讓我開門見山吧。

在我陳述之前請讓我聲明，我根本有權力不在乎這一切。這篇網誌潑上去後，我再也不會去理會你那稚氣凌人的人格與那複雜多變的廉價情緒。但有的事情我還是得交代清楚，以免以後產生令人懊惱的後遺症。

這完全不管我的事，但因為你們倆的無聊糾紛直接影響到了周邊的所有人，所以我有權力發表一下我的感受。

首先，你給我認清一件事：不要以為全世界都欠你甚麼。你以為自己是誰，憑甚麼老是把自己的不滿怪罪在別人的不承德上？你的付出難道只為了得到懷抱？秤對不上量的時候你總是把責任推卸給你身旁的人，讓他與她為你分擔。一點挫折就搞得自己魂不守舍的，這樣很窩囊你知道嗎？

其次，我不明白做人為甚麼要那麼較勁？退一步讓自己瀟灑一點不行嗎？如果你已經決定把大家的名字從臉書中刪除，那就不要再去重加，讓後再去刪除。你覺的這種遊戲很好玩是嗎？我們不是你的傀儡，存在的意義並不是為了能讓您任意擺佈。如果你要做出一個決定那就給我好好去遵守，不要在那邊优柔寡断，猶豫不決。

除此之外，人的忍耐度與包容心都是有限的，所以不要把這兩樣東西當成是理所當然的。如果你當初決定把自己封閉起來，與大家斷絕關係，那就不要對容忍與包容帶有太大的期許。是你先放棄的，你又有甚麼資格再奢求他人給予你任何真心真意的友情？

真的，請你清醒一點好不好？

PS: 嗨好久沒有火大了。不過老實說我也不知道我幹嘛要管那麼多。母性大發還是當過老師的人都特別會操心？不知道，但至少把人罵醒比冷眼旁观的好。至少我不是那種人。

無法兌現，竟如此墮落。

2010-11-23T20:23:00.010+08:00

最近讀了幾篇很可笑的網誌
真的有股衝動打通電話把這個人給罵醒
能不能給自己留一丁點兒的尊嚴
瀟灑一點？
要想通一件事真的那麼難嗎？
腦袋里成天到底是在想甚麼？
第一次遇到機車的人？
好扯，都多大了？
視野窄得很
自我矛盾
沒信心但又自我感覺良好
思想偏差得離譜
墮落、墮落、墮落
敗北到了一個極限
真是想吐血

還有，請馬上給我停止抄襲他人文章的無恥舉動。就算抄襲也得懂得如何謹慎地進行過濾吧？是沒聽過《版權法》嗎？

看了讓人反胃。

可悲。

How life fascinates me.

2010-11-17T21:05:00.016+08:00

Right now, I am sitting at a Starbucks near my house spending some time with myself. All of this time spent alone are essentially very important for me, because I can think and get re-aquainted with myself. And of course, do something which I absolutely love: people watching.

As I was ordering coffee just now, I came across a group of monks who obviously couldn't speak a single word of English and the unfortunate fact is that the staff on duty was a Malay girl. So now we have a problem. The trio wants coffee with the presence of a language barrier; I want my coffee but I had to wait for them. So, to prevent loss of precious coffee time, I decided to play nice by helping them.

They got their coffee and I've got mine. Good. Happy ending.

To most people, that would be the ending of the story.

But for me and my easily excitable brain, that is just the beginning to a self-reflectory post.

Questions storming up in my head right now:

1) Can monks drink coffee?

2) How come they can afford Starbucks?

3) Why did they pick the same drink?

4) Where are they going after this?

5) Why is language such a beautiful thing?

6) Why can't the world converse in just one language? Doesn't that make things a lot easier?

7) Nah, then there would be a loss in cultural diversity.

8) Are they going to thank me again after they leave?

Okay. I know how this kind of lame curiosity serve no good purpose but I am just so easily fascinated by things. I simply cannot choose to stay passive and ignore the things that happen around me. I cannot control the urge to talk to people all the time, to find out about anything at all. Everything about human beings fascinates me so much that I find it difficult to just stand aside and stay oblivious. I want to dig secrets and have H2H talks. I want to study the skeletons in the closets and pick up interesting facts about people.

I guess this is also a reason why I'm easily intrigued by so many things. I enjoy art, traveling, literature, music, movies, singing, writing etc. I try my best to explore with new things so that I can get a feel of what brings joy and pleasure to others. I want to know people and I want to understand life. I can't do the above if I can't associate myself with the mortals.

And that is why I place such great importance in improving my language all the time. I think the most quintessential skill pertaining to life would unarguably be the art of communication. I can't imagine not being able to speak properly. It's painful and inevitably cripples all forms of creativity and pride. If I want to say something, I have to make sure that my arguments are comprehensible so that you'll have no problems understanding them. If the language is not convincing, then I believe nothing that you say will be persuasive at all. Also, the more languages you master, the more accessible you'll be. I think people who are proficient in only one language are extremely short-sighted because they fail to see what they are missing out in life. It's particularly sad to witness all the ang moh pais in Singapore mocking the usage of Mandarin and dialects simply because they deem these languages as being too inferior or "second-class" for them. That is uber miserable, so please wake up.

As of this very moment, I am more and more certain of my choice of major in UBC.

Good night beautiful world.

PS: Abrupt ending 'cause the monks and I ended up talking while I was blogging. Hahaha paiseh, got distracted... :P

ROFLMAO LITERALLY.

2010-11-12T21:31:00.005+08:00

I JUST CANNOT STOP LAUGHING @ THIS WOMAN, THE SONG AND ITS CRAZY SHIT LYRICS HAHAHAHAHA!

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦诶啊鸡低啊鸡动啊鸡打了地个洞啊鸡低啊鸡打个洞啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦诶啊鸡低啊鸡动啊鸡打个地个洞啊鸡低啊鸡打了地个洞啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊阿姨压抑哟阿姨压抑哟啊擦几个蛋这个蛋这个蛋这个蛋个鸡个蛋这个蛋找个洞蛋几个蛋这个蛋这个蛋这个蛋个鸡个蛋这个蛋找个洞阿姨压抑哦啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦诶啊鸡低啊鸡动啊鸡打个地个洞啊鸡地啊鸡打个洞啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊哦诶啊鸡低啊鸡动啊鸡打个地个洞啊鸡低啊鸡打个洞啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊阿姨压抑哟阿姨压抑哟啊擦几个蛋这个蛋这个蛋这个蛋个鸡个蛋这个蛋找个洞蛋几个蛋这个蛋这个蛋这个蛋个鸡个蛋这个蛋找个洞阿姨压抑哟阿姨压抑阿姨压抑阿姨压抑阿姨啊擦几个蛋这个蛋这个蛋这个蛋个鸡个蛋这个蛋找个洞蛋几个蛋这个蛋这个蛋这个蛋个鸡个蛋这个蛋找个洞阿姨压抑哟大衣泳衣大姨脱衣大衣泳衣大姨脱衣大姨二用大衣泳衣大姨脱衣大衣泳衣大姨脱衣大衣泳衣大姨快来咯大衣用力大姨脱类（后面为鸟语，可理解为肠胃运动）

The alternate meaning to ORD.

2010-11-02T20:25:00.009+08:00

It dawned upon me that as I inch closer to that very sacred ORD date, I am actually moving closer to leaving home.
How ironic, moving closer to leaving home.

I remember when I was 6, I lived with my grandparents in Beijing. At that point of time, my family was already scattered all over the world. To me, home was simply where my grandparents were. The concept of "family" and "home" were all so raw and unperturbed that I didn't really think about what would have happened if I have to leave them someday.

The horrifying news, however, did hit me eventually on what I remember to be an exceptionally peaceful afternoon. I didn't have much reaction time. I said no in every possible way and cried to sleep almost every single night. But nothing really worked. I was going to leave and I had no choice. I was about to leave my limping grandma together with grandpa in that big and cold house. Just the 2 of them with nothing else.

At that point of time, counting down was just plain agonizing. I felt like I was at death's door, sharing the sentiments of a brain dead person being put on life support. I was passively waiting, and at any moment of the day, the plug might be pulled, and poof, I would be gone.

The fear of waiting and uncertainty became so enormous in me that I began to hate "countdowns."

Nevertheless, the day did arrive. I stood outside the car and waved to my grandma a million times just to buy myself sufficient time to fully comprehend the dynamics of "growing up." My grandma stood on the balcony, could not come down due to her limp, and cried so badly I could almost hear her sobs from 5 floors down.

So today as I pen this, I kinda feel that the same scenario is about to happen in 7 months time, 15 years after the original act. Somehow, I feel that it's probably gonna be just as painful. After all, I am already feeling the whole "this will be the last birthday we are going to celebrate together as a clique" kinda of thing. Everything is just seeping in bit by bit and it is really difficult to resist, regardless of how hard I try.

I guess this is how life works. When you gain something, you lose something. In exchange for a new life, you have to forgo what you possess right now. You can't grow up if you don't step out of that comfort zone, if you stay rooted to just one place and fear the possibilities of failure and hardship of going elsewhere.

I've got approximately half a year more to go before I fly over to Canada to start a new life. I am gonna make every second count, and make every of our "last one" beautiful.

"There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.”
- Tennessee Williams

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

2010-10-28T20:05:00.002+08:00

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Found and complete.

2010-10-02T12:39:00.006+08:00

For the past week, I felt like I've somewhat lost my bearings, as though I was a fresh immigrant trying to get myself accustomed to the ways and practices of a new society.

And that's paradoxical in every way, since I've been living here for almost all my life. Which makes me wonder: what is making it so hard for me to re-integrate?

I began to evaluate the kind of lifestyle differences that exist, and the many qualities that make an Asian society so dissimilar to a Western society.

In a nutshell, I think we work too hard. And in our mindless pursuits of recognition and opulence, we often forget the true definition of life -- to live with a purpose.

And purpose is not to work and labor just so that you won't lose out to the others around you. That is insecurity and fear, not true happiness.

Sheer bliss should be derived from really small things, like waking up in the morning without the aid of an alarm clock; to eat and be happy and not having to worry about size and proportions; to take your time to do things and not be rushed around.

We always hear that Singaporeans love to complain and we can go on and on to talk about all the things in the world that make us unhappy, but we never give ourselves even one second to ask ourselves WHY are we always so discontented and disgruntled about life? The country is rich, highly-developed and so safe to live in, but why is it that we cannot seem to find peace in ourselves?

Maybe there are some things we can learn from the Caucasians after all. (Please do not confuse this with the Pinkerton Syndrome as I am no fan of the SGPs.)

They don't stress themselves up in school, neither do they OT like nobody's business. They quit their jobs whenever they want, and they spend much more than they save. They live life thinking about what they're gonna do TODAY, and not having to worry about what is going to happen 10 years later. They eat as much as they could, knowing that food and pigging out are the greatest enjoyments in life. They take time off to go on spiritual journeys, to see the world, to embarrass and laugh at themselves when they do something uncustomary at foreign countries. They say hi to strangers and make friends with people of a different color.

In no way am I saying that their way of thinking is more superior than ours, but I just want to justify a very simple point: we Asians are too busy with everything else that we habitually neglect our personal well-being. We walk so fast, think and do so much to make our lives better just to realize that our hearts remain hollow and unloved at the end of the day.

And I do not want to lead a life like that.

I want to be in complete control as of today. I want to study because my heart carries a passion; I want to work because it makes me happy; I want to see money as just an unimportant asset. I don't mind living a simple life as long as there is peace and contentment deep within. That is all that matters to me now.

Bonjour, mon nouvel ami.

Laifu.

2010-09-21T07:17:00.008+08:00

Lately I have been thinking about what I would do right after I ORD.

It feels like I've waited so long for my life to start.
I want to color my hair, I want to see the world, I want to paint and draw, I want to write poems, I want to eat and love and do everything I've always wanted to.

But I keep forgetting one very important thing.
My life started 20 years ago.

The Canadian trip gave me ample time to just think and stone and most importantly, reflect. What has happened during the last 2 decades is crucial in molding my character. I have no regrets or whatsoever. I played as hard as I've worked, and I am proud of myself.

I may not be the most fortunate person around with consistent showers of love from this thing called "family" but I learned to deal with the entire "staying alone" episode of my life and made something good out of it. I guess this alone has influenced my revision to the definition of family.

To me, family stays in the heart, and doesn't have be together ALL the time. These years of being left alone has made me overly independent, someone who's somewhat afraid of being caged or controlled. I don't think I can live with my parents for a long period of time anymore. I know it sounds kinda sad, I definitely still love them nevertheless, but I just can't bear the thought of having someone "looking after" or "taking care" of me. These phrases are so foreign that they actually scare me, even though the ironic thing is that several years ago, I had wanted these so very much.

I don't mind spending CNY and Xmas with friends. I'm actually okay with it. I don't feel lonely in any way.

Okay I don't really know why I am typing all these. It's snowing outside and I am lying in my bed. I guess it's making me a little emo? Ha.

Plan for next year would be:
April 21st - ORD
1 month to clean things up and prepare to leave the country
June - Vancouver, find an apartment and a job
Sept - Sem 1 begins

I feel sad just by typing all these.
But yet there's an amber burning in me.

Can someone tell me what kind of feeling is it? :(

I think I've made up my mind about this.

2010-09-17T04:21:00.002+08:00

So a week's worth of contemplation has driven me into believing one thing: The future may / may not be in your hands, but you just have to make a decision and believe in it.

I know it sounds absolutely lame to come up with such a cliché conclusion, but really, that's what I've come to realize.

I spent hours and hours pondering over what kind of education I think I deserve in exactly 12 months time to come. And there are a lot of limitations and constraints I simply cannot choose to ignore.

First of all, I am clear of what I want. I want to do media / film / communications / cinema studies / journalism / arts in general.

And out of all the Canadian universities, I like University of British Columbia (UBC) the most. It's in Vancouver, the weather is good, the city is great and I like how things work there. However, UBC does not offer communications studies. There is film studies though, but I will explain later why I don't feel like enrolling in a filming school.

U of T (University of Toronto) is great. It does offer New Media and Communications. Here comes the big fat BUT: It is, however, not offered in the main campus, but in U of T Scarborough. According to Charlotte, Scarborough's environment isn't that great. And I did some researh. The crime rates are pretty high. Point down.

McGill is in Quebec, which is too far in the east and I have no keen interest in studying anything in that school.

Okay, so now, it boils down to UBC and U of T.

Basically, I am going to re-apply to UBC, but this time, to interdisciplinary studies. Which is basically liberal arts in layman term.

As for U of T, I will apply to its Innis College and major in Cinema studies. The series courses seem very interesting and I think in-depth theater knowledge will set a good foundation for the ultimate dream in my life. :)

The reason why I picked a liberal education for UBC is mainly because I don't want to have any chances of regret or whatsoever in years to come. I have this unexplainable fear that my passion for film may just unanticipatedly disappear overnight. I don't want that to happen, so I think it's wise to play safe. Besides, getting a liberal arts education indicates a more diverse training, which is what employers nowadays are looking for.

So to say, I am giving up my place in NTU Communications Studies. It's quite a pity for me to do this because it was really what I wanted for the longest time. In fact, I think it is one of the best media schools in the region. But I think it would be an invaluable chance for me to go overseas during these 4 years and to really see the world. To be frank, I am really sick of being caged in Singapore. Although all my closest friends ARE in Singapore, I really do need a change of environment.

Meanwhile, the plan is to work harder on my Japanese, and try to pick up French by next year. I think I have this strange obsession with learning new languages. Hopefully this won't turn me into some jack of all trades, master of none.

Okay that's all for now folks!

PS: I am enjoying myself in Canada! Miss you guys back there.

The city above the clouds.

2010-09-06T02:44:00.006+08:00

When you go to a place that is swathed in rolling clouds, you know you can't be far from heaven.

And I don't mean it metaphorically. Genting was a therapeutic experience, in every aspect.

I guess the biggest thing I've learnt to see is that traveling isn't at all about the food, the scenery, the theme park rides, the unbearable amount gambling and the sinfully comfortable accommodation. It has always been about its people, and whatever else you discovered about them. And if you traveling alone, then it would all about you. Just you.

Coming back to this little room of mine, what calls to mind are not the colours of the exotic plants and flowers I've snapped photos of; and neither do I miss the addictive tea-eggs that I've voraciously devoured. The only things that left a mark are the memories that were collectively shared. And really, that is all that matters.

I have to say that this weekend getaway came at the right time. I don't recall having a proper (and well-deserved) holiday ever since the Hong Kong + China trip last year. The mindless repetition of the daily routine has burnt a huge hole in my half pounder, and as the debris pile up, I find myself breathing harder and harder as the days go by: possible indication of a heavy heart. I am probably just a case study example of the problem that plagues our entire society.

Not that I wanna get too philosophical with this, but I was hoping that I can do some self-discovery during the 2 days, to really BREATHE and INHALE, and not just respire to get by.

It went just as I've planned. I mean how could anything have gone wrong? The air up there was so good there was nothing comparable to it. Besides, I wasn't just taking in air, I was immersed in the smell of pine and untainted precipitation. The experience was heavenly, especially the feeling of having blown-up cotton at your fingertips.

I was breathing. And once in a really long time, I am actually aware of it.

I guess travelling really shines a different light on things for me. Ultimately, everyone around you is the same. We all struggle to make it through the day, and we all have the same shitty things to deal with every now and then. The perfect getaway is all about going to a place where nobody knows you, a place that empowers you with the freedom to shout, to cry, to laugh and to go bananas without much of an obstruction. And although ten million other people might have visited the same attractions as you, every individual takes away something different. And that fact alone, is fascinating.

And of course, I've discovered new things about 8 other very special people. Without you guys, the trip wouldn't have been possible, so thank you very much. You guys are beautiful and these very words come from the bottom of my heart. :)

Last but not least, let me end this travelog with one of my all-time favourite quote: "Only he that has traveled the road knows where the holes are deep.” And isn't that true for our lives as well?

:)

おやすいみ。

The Quiet World

2010-08-29T14:44:00.003+08:00

In an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn't respond,
I know she's used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.
-Jeffrey McDaniel

Teh YOG Journey.

2010-08-28T19:27:00.002+08:00

I feel the need to share this, if not I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

2010-08-18T23:22:00.013+08:00

Okay today's the Men's Individual All-round finals.

Yuya Kamoto from JPN won.

But that's besides the point.

At the end of my interview with him at the mixed zone, I went around looking for a side-story.

Then YY & I spotted this group of Japanese ladies near the exit of the auditorium, and so I approached them. The "interview" was more like a simple chat, 'cause ya know, being Japanese women, they tend to be very shy and passive. And due to language barriers (yes, I had no intentions of showcasing my cui Japanese and instantaneously turning myself into a laughing stalk), we used mostly hand language to communicate. Basically, she replied all my English questions with Japanese. To think about it, it was actually quite funny.

When I asked her for her name, she wrote SASADA YAYOI on the paper I provided her with. I was a bit surprised to see the "SASADA" part 'cause the female Japanese representative this time at the YOG shares the same first-name as her. But I didn't give second thoughts to the fact that they could be related in any ways. I simply brushed that idea off.

Till I googled her. MEGA surprised.
SHOCKED TO THE MAX. SHOCKED FROM BOON LAY TO TAMPINES MALL LEVEL 4.

Not only is she Sasada Natsumi's mum, she was actually a former national champion and a member of the Japanese world championship gymnastics teams in 1978, 1979, 1981, and 1983!! I can't believe she is actually YAYOI KANO! (birth name) I think it's super touching to see how the sports of gymnastics have linked generations and generations of people together, and has somehow been evolved into a "family" sport for the Sasadas. Although Natsumi's mum did not get her minute of glory at the Olympics, she has allowed and equipped her daughter to do so, and this is the epitome of how "passing on the passion" should be.

I am deeply moved.
Can I cry?
kthxbye

The YOG journey so far...

2010-08-16T11:38:00.013+08:00

Okay so the time now is 11:39.
1 more hour before the athletes step in, and I've finally got the time to settle down to write something about the crazy journey so far.

I'm seated at the revamped Bishan sports hall and it looks really impressive. They brushed up the entire competition area and made the whole place seem brand new. Fresh, like the pungent smell of paint.

So basically the entire YOG journey started a week before the opening, where the 4 of us gathered at SPH for a simple interview with Jiahui-jie. The smooth-going interview then ended with an extremely tedious photo-shoot (which I never thought was a problem since we're all so darn good at camwhoring HAHA)... The photographer pursued an artistically impossible approach which none of us could comprehend. But in the end the photo turned out to be fine. So I guess we're all happy. :)

Then came the entire week of ~~agony~~ anticipation for the games. It was exciting to see people getting hyped up for the games (be it genuinely or not). On Tuesday, I then received a mail from the main media release, saying that there are yellow sector tickets for media personnel to collect. I was late for the submission, but due to good charm (hee) and luck (though I don't really believe in it), I managed to grasp hold of a precious preview ticket with a pretty good view. I attended the event with YY, Tania and 一步.

Frankly speaking, I empathize with those who caught the opening ceremony at home. The stage effects and dynamics were probably 3 million times stronger while you're at the floating platform itself. Watching it on kinda spoils it all. So yeah, don't be too harsh on it. BUT ONE THING I wanna comment on is Sean Kingston's last minute pang-seh. It's COMPLETELY BBY. Besides the reason is out of the monkey's world dumb. Apparently money is more important than the Olympics spirit and pride.

We then had our first official briefing with 主任 on Friday, received our schedules for the next 2 days. I was kind of shocked to see my name next to SOCCER. 1) I don't watch soccer, and I think all my friends know that. 2) I've never even HEARD of 3/4 of the countries that were playing that night. Trinidad & Tobago, Equatorial Guinea and Papua New Guinea. Like where on earth is that? Haha but nevertheless I tried my best to pick up as much as I could (with the help of Roy who happened to have tickets to the first match) and I think I churned out something pretty decent? Hahaha you can read the edited and shortened article here or here.

Oh and I went to visit the Olympic Village on Saturday with YY. We caught June at her UNICEF booth trying to act holy and kind and all. HAHA. The atmosphere was pretty good with athletes having fun everywhere. Impressed.

*Okay the hosts are out rehearsing their lines now and it's getting super noisy zzzzz nevermind I shall try to concentrate on this hahaha.

This morning I woke up really early to meet my Mom at her hotel to have breakfast together. All I ate yesterday was a bowl of ramen during lunch so I was kind of famished. And staying at Swissotel Merchant sure has its perks. The breakfast selection was crazy. Smoked salmon, roasted beef, all kinds of exotic cheeses, pancakes, dim sum and like a whole lot of crap. But I didn't eat much, or I would have puked and I am very sure of it.

Then I travelled to the Main Accreditation Centre @ MBS to collect today's start list and 顺便 take the shuttle bus to Bishan from there.

OH and on a completely random note, they did not use the "Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah HEY" nonsense at ALL (at least not at any of the venues I've visited so far...) and that is like the smartest decision ever. If not I'll run out of the the stadium. Seriously.

Okay so now I'm just waiting for the competition to start. I'm definitely clearer of what I wanna write about today and I'm feeling good about it.

WAY TO GO AHHHHHHHHHH AZAZA FIGHTING!

PS: I ordered an Macbook Pro last night (with the generous help from Pei Tze)! Will get it soon woo I can't wait. AND I JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE YOU JIEMEIS! :) Tania thanks for lending me your laptop for these few days and YY: thanks for driving all the way to the airport to jie my mom with me and Lucas: thanks for gou-yin-ing the rich person but failed but nevertheless it made me laugh. HAHAHA! <3

xoxo

The bittersweet.

2010-08-09T12:10:00.006+08:00

After the ritual carving
my teeth plunge
into
pink flesh
so vibrant I can
feel the pulse against my tongue

Inhaling the musk of the grove
I savor this sacrifice
sucking, squeezing, slurping
juices bathe my throat
like a lover
spent in ecstasy

And when my vampire’s work is done
the seed takes flight
to the warm winds
of an unknown fate

Deliciously sated, I ponder
the cruel delight of
Nature’s torrid romance
in which to spawn
means to be devoured

And I wonder
if I am anywhere near as tasty
to the teasing fangs of Time.

《唐山大地震》《一页台北》影评

2010-08-03T21:21:00.002+08:00

睡不着，吃了药但睡意一直上不来。好怪。

生病最怕的还是那样东西：如何解决三餐？
如果有力气下楼的话还好，但如果真的病的不轻的话那就得靠TV dinner来填饱肚子。

And I hate TV dinners.

坎贝尔汤罐头，意粉之类的东西吃到我想吐。但没办法，又不可能叫什么麦当劳或肯德基的外卖，要不然吃了可定会当场宣布死亡。

最近看了两部国语片，觉得不错，想在此推荐一下。

我一直以来都很支持冯小刚的贺岁片。《大腕》、《手机》、《天下无贼》、《非诚勿扰》这几步片子都拍得不错，很生活化，但题材又不失幽默与创新。这次看到他的新作品有点意外，因为新片竟然不在贺岁档上映，觉得有点不寻常。仔细看了海报后才领悟到原因的所在之处：大过年的谁会想看灾难片啊？

但话说回来，我并不觉得《唐山大地震》是部灾难片，更准确地来说它应该是部剧情片。地震的整个过程冯导只用了五、六分钟就拍完了，特效说实话也并不怎么样，但这不是这部片子的重点，所以没必要鸡蛋里挑骨头。

我很欣赏徐帆（里面演妈妈的那位）的演技。可能是因为她与冯导本来就包含着夫妻之间应有的默契，所以她在戏中的表现简直就是惊为天人，没什么可挑剔的。从她的角色中你能够清楚地看到母亲无限的爱，而冯导则是用“等待”来凸现母亲的忠厚与坚持。剧中的徐帆一直都没有选择再嫁或搬家，为了只是能让死去的丈夫与女儿能够在想家时安安稳稳地回来。在这32年的漫长等待中她始终遵守着一个无形的诺言，守在爱人的旁边，就算孤零零地过完一生也无怨无悔。这是很伟大的一种付出，也是母爱的庞大威力所在。这个角色是所有妈妈的缩影，让我看了感动不已。母亲天天为早已离去的女儿准备新鲜柿子的那的镜头实在让我无法招架，最后听到“看，妈没骗你，有柿子吃”这句话时，全场的观众的心可能都揪了起来，大家都哭的稀里哗啦的。希望徐帆能够在金马或金像奖上大放光彩，别让我们这群影迷失望。

总而言之，这肯定是一部会让你大哭的经典之作。剧中有太多太多催泪的场面，有的时候真的会让人招架不住。
一定不能错过！

PS: 原来繁体字转化成简体字的过程也启发了这次的创作。冯导发现“愛”失去了“心”，变成了今天我们所使用的“爱。”“親”也失去了“見”，如今变成了“亲。” “愛親”为此变成了“爱亲。”文化大革命与唐山大地震也刚巧是在这个转变的过程后侵袭中国的。

我很喜欢这种小品，这些没什么重点的小众片（尤其像侯孝贤所拍的那种电影）。

看完这部片子的一个反应竟然是：饿。
没错，整部片子一直都离不开“吃”这个字。在剧中的每个角色时时刻刻都在吃，害得我在片终后马上跑去吃了一碗饺子面（如果你看了这部电影你就会了解我当时的心情。）

第二的反应就是你会马上爱上郭采洁。她虽然已经24岁了但可见岁月在她身上没有留下一丝一毫的痕迹。青春无敌to-the-max，可爱到了极点，简直就想把她变成娃娃带回家。

这虽然是陈骏霖导演的第一部“大片，”但他把整部片子的节奏拿捏得很好，不慌不忙地把台北一夜之间所发生的事给拍了出来。里面也时不时添加了一点无厘头的搞笑，让片子变得没那么乏味。

已经那么就没看国片了，觉得好有亲切感，而且一来就是两部！
啊，好幸福。:)

Hey, you've changed. Uh huh, so live with it.

2010-07-27T22:17:00.008+08:00

Something that never fails to fascinate me is when someone from our past comes by one day and pops up with a line like this: "Hey, you've changed."

Okay.
Wow.

Like really? Wow.

Like as if that is NOT supposed to happen. Like as if change is so fundamentally difficult that nobody is supposed to let it happen. It's like they take a gun and point it straight at you, telling you that you ain't you anymore.

But hey, what IS the real me? Who are YOU to tell me who am I supposed to be? So what if I've changed? Don't we all exist to change and morph and grow? So am I supposed to be 130cm short and consistently possess an IQ of 60.8 every time our paths cross? Hello, I'm real here, not a projection of your tainted memory.

So yeah, the next time you decide to tell someone "You've changed" (suggesting a negative connotation), think again. You have no rights to chain someone to his/her past. We are who we are TODAY, not who we WERE yesterday (see, even the grammar makes total sense.)

In conclusion, embrace change, be it good or bad, 'cause that's what makes us US. :)

That's all I have to say for today.

xoxo

PS: I deliberately used a picture of some loose change to illustrate my... eh... Get it? No? Okay. Fine. :(

Never wake up: The meaning and secrets of "Inception"

2010-07-25T03:36:00.006+08:00

This entire article is a major spoiler for Inception. Please do not read it until you've experienced Christopher Nolan's film for yourself.

Every single moment of Inception is a dream. I think that in a couple of years this will become the accepted reading of the film, and differing interpretations will have to be skillfully argued to be even remotely considered. The film makes this clear, and it never holds back the truth from audiences. Some find this idea to be narratively repugnant, since they think that a movie where everything is a dream is a movie without stakes, a movie where the audience is wasting their time.

Except that this is exactly what Nolan is arguing against. The film is a metaphor for the way that Nolan as a director works, and what he's ultimately saying is that the catharsis found in a dream is as real as the catharsis found in a movie is as real as the catharsis found in life. Inception is about making movies, and cinema is the shared dream that truly interests the director.

I believe that Inception is a dream to the point where even the dream-sharing stuff is a dream. Dom Cobb isn't an extractor. He can't go into other people's dreams. He isn't on the run from the Cobol Corporation. At one point he tells himself this, through the voice of Mal, who is a projection of his own subconscious. She asks him how real he thinks his world is, where he's being chased across the globe by faceless corporate goons.

She asks him that in a scene that we all know is a dream, but Inception lets us in on this elsewhere. Michael Caine's character implores Cobb to return to reality, to wake up. During the chase in Mombasa, Cobb tries to escape down an alleyway, and the two buildings between which he's running begin closing in on him - a classic anxiety dream moment. When he finally pulls himself free he finds Ken Watanabe's character waiting for him, against all logic. Except dream logic.

Much is made in the film about totems, items unique to dreamers that can be used to tell when someone is actually awake or asleep. Cobb's totem is a top, which spins endlessly when he's asleep, and the fact that the top stops spinning at many points in the film is claimed by some to be evidence that Cobb is awake during those scenes. The problem here is that the top wasn't always Cobb's totem - he got it from his wife, who killed herself because she believed that they were still living in a dream. There's more than a slim chance that she's right - note that when Cobb remembers her suicide she is, bizarrely, sitting on a ledge opposite the room they rented. You could do the logical gymnastics required to claim that Mal simply rented another room across the alleyway, but the more realistic notion here is that it's a dream, with the gap between the two lovers being a metaphorical one made literal. When Mal jumps she leaves behind the top, and if she was right about the world being a dream, the fact that it spins or doesn't spin is meaningless. It's a dream construct anyway. There's no way to use the top as a proof of reality.

Watching the film with this eye you can see the dream logic unfolding. As is said in the movie, dreams seem real in the moment and it's only when you've woken up that things seem strange. The film's 'reality' sequences are filled with moments that, on retrospect, seem strange or unlikely or unexplained. Even the basics of the dream sharing technology is unbelievably vague, and I don't think that's just because Nolan wants to keep things streamlined. It's because Cobb's unconscious mind is filling it in as he goes along.

There's more, but I would have to watch the film again with a notebook to get all the evidence (all of it in plain sight). The end seems without a doubt to be a dream - from the dreamy way the film is shot and edited once Cobb wakes up on the plane all the way through to him coming home to find his two kids in the exact position and in the exact same clothes that he kept remembering them, it doesn't matter if the top falls, Cobb is dreaming.

That Cobb is dreaming and still finds his catharsis (that he can now look at the face of his kids) is the point. It's important to realize that Inception is a not very thinly-veiled autobiographical look at how Nolan works. In a recent red carpet interview, Leonardo DiCaprio - who was important in helping Nolan get the script to the final stages - compares the movie not to The Matrix or some other mindfuck movie but Fellini's8 1/2.This is probably the second most telling thing DiCaprio said during the publicity tour for the film, with the first being that he based Cobb on Nolan. 8 1/2 is totally autobiographical for Fellini, and it's all about an Italian director trying to overcome his block and make a movie (a science fiction movie, even). It's a film about filmmaking, and so is Inception.

The heist team quite neatly maps to major players in a film production. Cobb is the director while Arthur, the guy who does the research and who sets up the places to sleep, is the producer. Ariadne, the dream architect, is the screenwriter - she creates the world that will be entered. Eames is the actor (this is so obvious that the character sits at an old fashioned mirrored vanity, the type which stage actors would use). Yusuf is the technical guy; remember, the Oscar come from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and it requires a good number of technically minded people to get a movie off the ground. Nolan himself more or less explains this in the latest issue of Film Comment, saying 'There are a lot of striking similarities [between what the team does and the putting on of a major Hollywood movie]. When for instance the team is out on the street they've created, surveying it, that's really identical with what we do on tech scouts before we shoot.'

That leaves two key figures. Saito is the money guy, the big corporate suit who fancies himself a part of the game. And Fischer, the mark, is the audience. Cobb, as a director, takes Fischer through an engaging, stimulating and exciting journey, one that leads him to an understanding about himself. Cobb is the big time movie director (or rather the best version of that - certainly not a Michael Bay) who brings the action, who brings the spectacle, but who also brings the meaning and the humanity and the emotion.

The movies-as-dreams aspect is part of why Inception keeps the dreams so grounded. In the film it's explained that playing with the dream too much alerts the dreamer to the falseness around him; this is just another version of the suspension of disbelief upon which all films hinge. As soon as the audience is pulled out of the movie by some element - an implausible scene, a ludicrous line, a poor performance - it's possible that the cinematic dream spell is broken completely, and they're lost.

As a great director, Cobb is also a great artist, which means that even when he's creating a dream about snowmobile chases, he's bringing something of himself into it. That's Mal. It's the auterist impulse, the need to bring your own interests, obsessions and issues into a movie. It's what the best directors do. It's very telling that Nolan sees this as kind of a problem; I suspect another filmmaker might have cast Mal as the special element that makes Cobb so successful.

Inception is such a big deal because it's what great movies strive to do. You walk out of a great film changed, with new ideas planted in your head, with your neural networks subtly rewired by what you've just seen. On a meta level Inception itself does this, with audiences leaving the theater buzzing about the way it made them feel and perceive. New ideas, new thoughts, new points of view are more lasting a souvenir of a great movie than a ticket stub.

It's possible to view Fischer, the mark, as not the audience but just as the character that is being put through the movie that is the dream. To be honest, I haven't quite solidified my thought on Fischer's place in the allegorical web, but what's important is that the breakthrough that Fischer has in the ski fortress is real. Despite the fact that his father is not there, despite the fact that the pinwheel was never by his father's bedside, the emotions that Fischer experiences are 100 percent genuine. It doesn't matter that the movie you're watching isn't a real story, that it's just highly paid people putting on a show - when a movie moves you, it truly moves you. The tears you cry during Up are totally real, even if absolutely nothing that you see on screen has ever existed in the physical world.

For Cobb there's a deeper meaning to it all. While Cobb doesn't have daddy issues (that we know of), he, like Fischer, is dealing with a loss. He's trying to come to grips with the death of his wife*; Fischer's journey reflects Cobb's while not being a complete point for point reflection. That's important for Nolan, who is making films that have personal components - that talk about things that obviously interest or concern him - but that aren't actually about him. Other filmmakers (Fellini) may make movies that are thinly veiled autobiography, but that's not what Nolan or Cobb are doing. The movies (or dreams) they're putting together reflect what they're going through but aren't easily mapped on to them. Talking to Film Comment, Nolan says he has never been to psychoanalysis. 'I think I use filmmaking for that purpose. I have a passionate relationship to what I do.'

In a lot of ways Inception is a bookend to last summer's Inglorious Basterds. In that film Quentin Tarantino celebrated the ways that cinema could change the world, while in Inception Nolan is examining the ways that cinema, the ultimate shared dream, can change an individual. The entire film is a dream, within the confines of the movie itself, but in a more meta sense it's Nolan's dream. He's dreaming Cobb, and finding his own moments of revelation and resolution, just as Cobb is dreaming Fischer and finding his own catharsis and change.

The whole film being a dream isn't a cop out or a waste of time, but an ultimate expression of the film's themes and meaning. It's all fake. But it's all very, very real. And that's something every single movie lover understands implicitly and completely.

* it's really worth noting that if you accept that the whole movie is a dream that Mal may not be dead. She could have just left Cobb. The mourning that he is experiencing deep inside his mind is no less real if she's alive or dead - he has still lost her.

-chud.com

今天的我终于发现，我恨我愛你。

2010-07-20T19:54:00.004+08:00

骤然下起的大雨
让我的心扉索然无味
锋利的回忆
引起了内心阵阵的抽痛
寂寞已久的灵魂
被扼制多时的心魔唤醒
唤醒了一幕幕痛彻心扉的过往情景
在你静静离开前
后悔没有拉住你的手
因为我从来就没有那么想过一个人
思念果然是一种很玄的东西
让这无法磨灭的罪孽越陷越深
让我无缘达成的南珂越飞越远
让这刻骨铭心的爱越来越难挨

-冠
20.07.10

And all you need is one.

2010-07-19T22:12:00.007+08:00

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls.

And sometimes -- all you need is one.

人的一生，到底在追求甚麼？

2010-07-18T11:49:00.005+08:00

有一個美國商人坐在墨西哥海邊一個小漁村的碼頭上，看著一個墨西哥漁夫划著一艘小船靠岸。小船上有好幾尾大黃鰭鮪魚。

這個美國商人對墨西哥漁夫能抓這麼高檔的魚恭維了一番還問要多少時間才能抓這麼多？
墨西哥漁夫說：才一會兒功夫就抓到了。

美國人再問：你為甚麼不待久一點，好多抓一些魚？
墨西哥漁夫覺得不以為然：這些魚已經足夠我一家人生活所需啦！

美國人又問：那麼你一天剩下那麼多時間都在幹甚麼？
墨西哥漁夫解釋：我呀？我每天睡到自然醒，出海抓幾條魚，回來後跟孩子們玩一玩，再跟老婆睡個午覺，黃昏時晃到村子裡喝點小酒，跟哥兒們玩玩吉他，我的日子可過得充滿又忙碌呢！

美國人不以為然，幫他出主意，他說：我是美國哈佛大學企管碩士，我倒是可以幫你忙！你應該每天多花一些時間去抓魚，到時候你就有錢去買條大一點的船。自然你就可以抓更多魚，在買更多漁船。然後你就可以擁有一個漁船隊。到時候你就不必把魚賣給魚販子，而是直接賣給加工廠。然後你可以自己開一家罐頭工廠。如此你就可以控制整個生產、加工處理和行銷。然後你可以離開這個小漁村，搬到墨西哥城，再搬到洛杉磯，最後到紐約。在那裡經營你不斷擴充的企業。

墨西哥漁夫問：這又花多少時間呢？
美國人回答：十五到二十年。

墨西哥漁夫：然後呢？
美國人大笑著說：然後你就可以在家當皇帝啦！時機一到，你就可以宣佈股票上市，把你的公司股份賣給投資大眾。到時候你就發啦！你可以幾億幾億地賺！

墨西哥漁夫：然後呢？
美國人又說：到那個時候你就可以退休啦！你可以搬到海邊的小漁村去住。每天睡到自然醒，出海隨便抓幾條魚，跟孩子們玩一玩，再跟老婆睡個午覺，黃昏時，晃到村子裡喝點小酒，跟哥兒們玩玩吉他囉！

墨西哥漁夫疑惑的說：我現在不就是這樣了嗎？

人的一生，到底在追求甚麼？

《阿眯日记》星期二的柳丁。

2010-07-13T21:18:00.011+08:00

这是《阿眯日记》的第三部曲。

好快哦，一眨眼半年就过去了。这半年内所发生的事情不少，从中累计的感触当然也是厚厚的一叠。

青春时光，有如石火光阴，眼看离退役的脚步越来越近，我很想用这篇博客来记载一下在兵营里所发生的点点滴滴，以后想起往事来一定会回味无穷。

说起这一路来，对我来说影响力最大的就是和我一起工作的“人”。这些“人”从素昧平生的陌生人在一夜之间变成了我的同事，再从跟同事慢慢地变成了朋友。在这个小圈子里，有为梦想而奋斗的人、有为情所困的人、有落落大方的大丈夫、有不求回报的公益者、有理直气壮的直肠子、也有施不求报的绝种动物。

我很庆幸能有着么一帮子的好朋友陪伴在我的身边，让原本苦涩的兵营生活变得多姿多彩，让原本孤独的道路上长满了绚烂美丽的蒲公英。

但显然的是，有的人还是把阿眯当成一种浪费时间的东西。

为了不来上班而装病或撒谎是很可耻的。为了不让自己加班而大吼大叫也是很自私的。我不明白何时你的时间变得比我们的重要？为什么只因为你不想加班而害得大家拼命地赶工？难道一年半的时间还无法让你领悟到群体与奋斗精神的重要性？

哇越讲越热血。哈哈。

好啦，今天到此为止。
希望你能好好地反省反省。:)

花的迷惘

2010-06-27T20:12:00.006+08:00

花の色は
うつりにけりな
いたづらに

わが身世にふる
ながめせしまに

花儿低档不了退色的过程
在漫长的岁月中等待着绽放与枯萎
最后的绚烂
也只不过是与无力的东风擦身而过
无缘被卷入望眼欲穿的百花残中
落幕时的情景是寂静地入土
让生命化作为毫不起眼的把把春泥

-冠
27.06.2010

人类所追求的“性”福？(Inspired by "Sex and the City")

2010-06-07T20:51:00.009+08:00

今天生病了。
在家里窝了一整天，读了一本小说，也看完了一季的《欲望都市》(Sex and the City)。

虽然是部喜剧，但《欲望都市》的种种戏剧性也深深地吸引了我。剧里所讨论的话题不仅根“性”有关，也描述了现代人对于“爱情”的一种新观念。剧中的四位女主角各个都是事业上的女强人，在表面上各个都对自己的生活十分地满意，但在爱情这方面却老是找不到平衡点与归属。这是这部喜剧中的悲剧。

以前可能年纪小，思想也很不成熟，对性的了解很表面，很“猥亵”，常常都以一种逗笑的方式来传达自己的一些想法。长大后，发现“性”不再是个敏感话题，也不再是种taboo。21世纪的人思想越来越开放，敢做的事也越来越大胆（这点我在95.8已经谈到），但有一点是我很不喜欢看到的：何时幸福被“性”福而取代？

现代人在追求爱情时常常把性看得太重。我承认性对于一对情侣来说是重要的，但当你选择把它当成一段感情的中心点时，很多事情都会弄巧反拙。肉体从来就不应该超越精神上的交流，这是我很坚定的一点。没有思想的肉体最终也只是一个空壳，一具没有灵魂尸体。我不觉得欲望上的满足可以让两个人白头偕老，因为总有一天你会被时间的摧残打回现实。这样的感情不会长久，两个人的幸福也只能昙花一现。到处风流的Samantha可能就是这类人的代表作。

我是个浪漫主义者。我认为幸福就是两个人简简单单地过日子，不必要每天都多姿多彩，安安静静地拥有也是爱护对方的一种方式。轰轰烈烈当然是很多人所奢望的一种爱情，但情书，蜡烛，海边与拥抱难道比不上那短暂拥有的肉体与高潮吗？

幸福对我来说很简单：一支可以用来创作的笔；一本荡气回肠的小说；一部扣人心弦的黑白电影；一群可以陪我坐下来好好吃一顿饭的朋友，还有一个真正爱你的人。这样也就足够了。

希望每个人都能找到属于自己的幸福。
:)

距离

2010-05-16T14:02:00.004+08:00

退后一步你就离我远去
望着无边无际的大海
坐在夕阳里的我们到底错过了几次的机会

太阳与地球的关系因距离而美丽
这是太阳保护地球的方法
不让它被无情的火焰而灼伤
宁可一个人躲在孤独的宇宙里
在远处关心着这里所发生的点点滴滴

距离侵蚀着这城市里的每一个人
我们是如此的靠近
但彼此的内心却是如此的遥远
隔着望而生畏的距离
个个孤立无助地选择挣扎

后退与前进
最后也都是为了衡量那无法拿涅的距离

谈体操‘年龄门’

2010-05-13T22:05:00.005+08:00

Link

学校体育2010

王冠
英华初院毕业

　　国际奥委会主席罗格不久前到新加坡视察我国筹备首届青年奥运会的进度时表示，青奥运也将跟奥运会一样，严厉打击谎报年龄的问题。

　　这样的举措，当然有它的原因，而2008年北京奥运会是导火线。中国女子体操队虽然以高水平的发挥从实力强大的美国队手中抢走了团体冠军头衔，但她们的胜利却被一系列的谎报年龄丑闻所玷污了。

　　虚报年龄丑闻爆出后，国际奥委会立即要求国际体操协会介入调查。正因为如此，世界各大媒体随之对中国女子体操队所有关于谎报年龄的消息，进行铺天盖地的报道。连出战2000年悉尼奥运会的两名退役运动员董芳霄和杨云也被牵扯其中。

　　杨云因为证据不足，仅给予警告；董芳霄则被查出虚报年龄，遭国际奥委会取消在悉尼奥运会上取得的女子个人自由体操第六名和跳马第七名成绩，以及收回由董芳霄领军的中国女队在该届奥运会上赢得女团铜牌。

　　国际奥委会自 1997年起，在女子体操规则上进行了修改，将参加奥运会的选手年龄限制，从15岁提高到了16岁，目的是为了避免尚未发育成熟的年轻运动员遭受严重的运动伤害。这个年龄限制给很多体操强国带来了许多困扰。

　　一个女子体操运动员的颠峰时期就在十三四岁，年龄较小的运动员身体更为灵活，也更容易练就高难度动作，在比赛中可以取得更高的起评与技术分。

　　为此，许多国家都帮助自己的运动员窜改年龄，让她们能够获得参加国际大赛的资格。罗马尼亚和朝鲜的教练都曾经公开承认做过这样的事情。

老实说，我认为国际奥委会根本就不应该为体操比赛制定任何年龄限制。16岁的年龄限制根本就改变不了什么，因为运动员一定会不停地往更高难度的动作发展，训练不可能因为一个人的年龄与体质而变得比较轻松或安全。

　　伤病对运动员们来说是无法避免的事实，每一种运动都会带来一定的风险，限制运动员的参赛年龄根本就改变不了什么，反而会造成他们以谎报年龄的方法来达到参赛的目的。况且，女子体操运动员的运动生涯十分短暂，许多都是昙花一现（像2003年世锦赛平衡木冠军中国的范晔），不是每个人都能像美国女将柳金（Nastia Liukin）那样因为年龄不符合要求，耐心地等了四年才一圆自己的奥运梦。

　　体操是一个优美细腻的体育项目，我这个普通的体操迷只希望它不会被连连来袭的丑闻，而毁了原有的容貌。

朋友，我想给你一个拥抱。

2010-04-22T22:31:00.004+08:00

“是雨下的凄凉，还是我们的心早已死在最繁华锦簇的时刻？”

朋友，我看得到你的疲倦，你的心灰，你那睡眼惺忪的样子。你的目光不再锐利；你憔悴的体魄披着一身子的累赘；你少了以往的激情；你被现实摧残得失去了童真，所以朋友，我想给你一个拥抱。

我想跟你说，这就是成长的过程——如此的残酷，如此的无情。我们不可能凡事都求心想事成，万事如意，因为我们不能天真的以为天天都是大年三十儿。我们要去尝试失败，去了解失败，去感受失败，然后在去适应失败。我们要懂得去接受一些事情，把一切的阻力化为动力，让自己更强，更能“忍。” 不要把忍当作成一种懦弱的表态，因为它是一股很庞大的力量，只有那些有度量的人才能领悟到“忍耐”的真理。想成为人上之人而非等闲之辈，那就得一忍再忍，忘记掉什么是忍无可忍。这是个很艰难的考验，你一定需要很多人的鼓励才能坚强起来。所以朋友，我想给你一个拥抱。

朋友，我从你的眼里看到了自己的故事，所以我很想跟你分享一些发生在自己身上的一些事。但我不能这么做，因为人生是自己导演的一部戏。我只能以外人的身份帮你分析问题，去设法安慰你，去安抚你的心，但我不是你的男主角，我不能为主宰你的人生，改变你的脚本。这是你的戏，你的人生。这是残酷的，你所流下的每一滴泪都是真的，你的欢笑，伤心与泪水是不允许彩排的。每一道疤痕都是血淋淋的，所以你才要学会去体会，学会去珍惜。跌得越重的越会坚强，伤得越深的愈合得越快。遍体鳞伤不一定是件坏事。朋友，一定要站起来，让我可你一个拥抱。

朋友，振作起来。
一定要振作起来。

因为这就是人生，
一场永不停止的战争。

-冠

《阿眯日记》第360天的联想。

2010-04-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

看来时间真的过得比想象中快。

一眨眼就一年了。

360天的喜怒哀乐，汗与泪水不可能用几行字就能交待清楚，但从中得到的最大领悟就是学会做人一定要懂得“知足常乐”这个看似容易但却难乎其难的大道理。

说实话，有些日子过得真的不是很顺，到处碰钉子，也常常遇到另人恨之入骨的可怕撞墙期。

在兵营里，我不断试着放宽自己的视野，让自己在陌生的环境下体验更多，接受更多，感受更多。虽然乐不思蜀的日子不少，但许多莫名而来的挫折感也在无形中深深地捅了我好几刀。有时看着周遭的人，想去了解或认识到他们的所作所为，但总会因为在某种程度上的力不从心而得不到任何让我觉得满意的结果。凝视着离我不到几尺的熟悉面孔，我常常问自己的问题就是头脑有问题的人到底是不是我自己？

我发现我想得越多，陷得就越深，好比是被卷进了一个无法逃脱的无底洞。我双手建起的城堡就此不攻自破，城墙因无情的现实一片一片地选择剥落。很孬，很没骨气。更无情的就是当你摘下了武装后，你会对身旁所发生的一切会加倍的敏感。被糟蹋的人格，被忽视的自尊，被遗忘的真诚，一幕幕血腥的画面会在你眼前不断的重演。我不能置身在外，所以在不知不觉中被拉扯了进来，变成了其中一个可恶的主宰者。

我讨厌这样的自己。我不喜欢这种被动的感觉。我好想为“对” 的东西挺身而出，帮懦弱的小卒出一口气。我厌倦了为了讨好别人而出卖自己的感觉。我好想回应照亮已久的天光，好好的打上一战，就算最终头破血流，我也无怨无悔。

我不怕死得狼狈不堪，只怕死得不够精彩。
死，也要死的有尊严。

我对《叶问2：宗师传奇》(IP-MAN 2) 的期待。

2010-04-11T15:02:00.004+08:00

昨天和朋友去看了刘德华的新片子《未来警察》。在影片开始之前，影院播放了《叶问2：宗师传奇》的预告片。

首先，我要承认我并没有看《叶问》的第一部曲。当时电影上映的时候我还一度把"IP Man"误解成一部由游戏改编成电影的烂作。后来领悟到是武打片时也因为对这类电影的不感兴趣而有意地错过了观赏的机会。

为此我为两位好友的大力推荐而感到十分的好奇（与疑惑）。所以回到家后我就立即从网上下载了这部片子。

后悔当时没有在大屏幕上观赏到这部好片。

老实说我对叶问这个人的了解并不深，只知道他是李小龙最起初的师傅，是发扬咏春拳的武林高人。当然电影里的甄子丹很好地诠释了这个角色，虽然我还是觉得他有点“过于完美”，但我很欣赏甄子丹在《叶问》里的精湛演技。

电影里的角色各个都有血有肉，让我再一次从艺术的角度中证实了中国人的讲情讲义。这不禁让我回想到看完《十月围城》后的感觉。两部电影都同样的热血，同样的写实，同样的震撼。电影里让我最记忆尤深的一句话就是从叶问口中所说出的：“虽然是一种武装力量，但是我们中国武术，是包含儒家的哲理，武德，也就是仁，推已及人，这是你们日本人永远不明白的道理！因为你们滥用暴力，将武力变成暴力，去欺压别人，你们不配学我们的中国武术。”

总之两个字：过瘾。

期待即将上映的叶问二部曲。
我相信它不会让我失望的。

“每个人走的路都是自己选的。 ”

And we couldn’t wait to grow up.

2010-04-11T15:01:00.000+08:00

Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Underwear turns into thongs. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet not a condom? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a board game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? The only drama you knew of was Romeo and Juliet? The only thing you could cheat in was a game, and players were for sports not relationships? The only way we could change was with our clothes and not ourselves. Yet, we absolutely could not wait to grow up?

And now, growing up is our greatest fear.

Anon.

《阿眯日记》星期三篇：闷

2010-02-17T21:36:00.003+08:00

雨天。

请允许我这小小的舆论自由。
《阿眯日记》中的阿眯当然就是army的谐音词。这是我在愤世嫉俗时选择发泄的方法。没错，我就是对这个世界不爽，所以在这里罗索我开心就好，你喜不喜欢是你自己的事，我完全不会去care。

一个礼拜没有工作的感觉是种很奢侈的享受。但原本以为可以以缓慢速度开始的第一个工作日却变成了一场恐怖的战局。这是很烦人的一种形态，只因为我不是一个很喜欢对付突发状况的一个人。今天忙起来真的是辛苦了自己的肚子。一天一餐的变态饮食习惯早晚会摧毁我那原本就不怎么样的肠胃。可悲，因为自虐是完全不——必——要——的行为。

今天的心情闷到了一个不行。可能是因为新年一点爆点也没有，也或许我真的是想家想到了一个极点。每次接到老妈在除夕晚上的来电时都会忍住泪水跟她拜年，听到话筒里传来的阵阵的笑声也带给了我阵阵的心痛。乡思之愁真的是种很无助的无奈。

累了，很想放自己一个假。很想跟一群朋友去看海、爬山、呐喊、放风筝、看星星。。。很想在这忙碌的日子里找回自己，累计生活中最细腻的点点滴滴。很想去看一场会让自己感动的电影，读一本荡气回肠的小说，谈一场轰轰烈烈的恋爱。很想得到一个没有意图的拥抱，听到一句最真诚的问候。

好像逃到好远好远的地方，一个没有人能够找得到的地方，
好好爱自己一次。。。

为什么我不是一个会生气的人？

2010-01-21T23:29:00.005+08:00

其实这个问题已经被问过了n遍。
我的答案老实说也算不上是什么发人深省的大道理，只是从小到大我都深记着妈妈所讲过的一句话：“做人要有度量。”
所以说，不是我不会生气，而是我认为做人要有一定的度量，所以能忍的就忍，让自己吃一点亏也无妨。胡乱发脾气是种很幼稚的表态。

有时我真的不明白人为什么要如此计较，为一点小事发脾气。不伤大雅的事情为什么偏偏要搞出一番大事件？大事化小，小事化无不是很好吗？

今天发生了一件让我觉得很匪夷所思的事情。因为两方的误会，双方产生了一些小别扭。当然我不知道到底错在谁方，但重点根本就不应该放在这个上面。为了工作而伤了和气是很不理智的小学生逻辑。所以当对方人马选择以愤怒来“解决”问题时，我会很自觉地退后一步。这是保护自己的唯一办法，同时也可以围护两方的利益（因为如果你选择正面冲突，后果肯定是由你自己来收拾）。

首先，我不想跟生气（不理智）的人进行任何的交谈。过度极端的情绪不可能让任何理智的言语从他们的口中脱口。所以说，没有必要跟生气的人一番见识。
其次，生气是种很无助的生理反应（请不要想歪谢谢）。
最后，生气解决不了什么问题。

总而言之，生气，是拿别人的错误惩罚自己。记得，量小者易怒，要做人上人，就一定得扩大自己的度量。一点小小的委屈算什么？你在人生中所得到的会比那些斤斤计较的人多的是。

:)

Because life is in all its hues and colours.

2010-01-13T21:37:00.006+08:00

I realised that I haven't been posting for a realllly long time. :(
~~I have been really busy and I don't really have a lot of time to sit down and blog.~~ Okay fine, I am downright lazy. Shoot me.

But really, I HAVE been busy, with both work and play. Which is kind of good actually, 'cause at least I am attempting to strike a balance between the 2.

I have also been trying to pen my new year resolutions somewhere, but I have been procrastinating real bad. So let's start with this:

1) STOP procrastinating. I really need to quit this bad habit and just-freaking-get-the-stuff-done. It's kind of sad that I always receive 2 or 3 letters from Singtel every month, reminding me to pay the bills. That's just epic retardedness and pure failure on my side. Why can't I just walk over to the SAM machine RIGHT BELOW MY HOUSE to pay the damn bill? Seriously. This has to stop.

2) Lose weight. Which is no lose weight 'cause I am not fat like you.

3) Stop eating so much junk food. (probably not gonna happen)

4) Pass JLPT level 3. For obvious reasons. (probably not gonna happen as well)

5) Keep fit. (obviously not gonna happen)

Okay I think I should just stop. No one really cares about new year resolutions anyway. Seriously who really bothers to "eat healthy" and "be kind to strangers" and "run 2km around my toilet bowl everyday?" Life is short, just eat like a glutton and die happy. Yay.

Honestly speaking I think I'm really blessed to have what I have right now. I got a good job (though stressful but I actually kind of enjoy it), awesome people around and a bunch of tight buds who'll walk me through thick and thin. Time in camp flies really fast nowadays (probably 'cause when you have a lot of stuff to do you'll just forget about time) and the weekly dinners and movies I am having with friends certainly make the weeks go by unbelievably fast.

And everyone around me seems to be falling in love!! Hahaha all that bliss and sugar are spilling over to me. Seeing people getting attached sends me into raptures of joy. :D Er jie and wu mei~ ;)

So all in all life has been pretty good so far and I am really happy with the way things are right now. Hopefully 2010 will be a good year for everybody. :)

AZAZA FIGHTINGGG!

xoxo

Something that I feel everyone should read. :)

2009-11-29T21:17:00.003+08:00

Found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

一个人的无声呐喊。

2009-11-12T21:11:00.005+08:00

一直以来，我都以为自己可以靠自己的力量去克服或想通许多事情，但今天我终于决定放弃这个理念，告诉自己要彻彻底底地认输。

我发现我一直在忍耐种种不合理的要求，一直在不心甘情愿下的情况下满足别人。在这里，尊重局限与最表面的那一层。你为了保护自己，只能吞下所有的不服，把一切的闷气往肚子里咽，因为一步错棋，你就会变成下一位射击手的目标板。

“不”成为了这里的一大禁忌。因为你比不上别人的资历，所以你没有选择的余地。就算叫你做猫做狗，你也得面带微笑，装出一副十分乐意的表情，然后大大方方地完成任务。即使过后的你早已遍体鳞伤，也没有人会管你。“谢谢”已不是一句基本的礼貌用语，因为在这里，这两个字变成了最奢侈的需求。

这里的明争暗斗早已成为家常便饭，种种的道德观念也在扭曲的状况中迅速蔓延。坚定自己的信念竟然变成为了大考验。京剧中的变脸也在这里常常上演，仿佛时时刻刻都能观赏到场场精彩的舞台剧，只不过这里的明枪暗箭个个都不是假的，就连从你背后捅那一刀下去的画面也会在你眼前重播个上百次。

所以，我选择了封闭自己。因为在别人身上看到了这么多类似的例子，所以我开始变得害怕。我开始远离，慢慢地往后退几步，保留一定的距离。这就是我保护自己的方法。就像个目睹了一场火灾的幼小孩童，我对火早已经产生了恐惧感。我庆幸被烧的人不是我，但是我也很同情那些无法为自己而奋斗的受害者。他们的呐喊与求救根本就没有人能听得到。但我救不了他们，虽然我真得很想，因为我发现原来自己也处在一种自身难保的状态当中。

好累，好无助的一种感觉。
耗尽了所有办法但最后还是得举起白旗。感觉竟然是种“走投无路”，一种我从来就没有感受过的感觉。

振作啊，一定要振作起来。
一定，一定要。

Book Review: "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown

2009-11-09T19:29:00.007+08:00

Caution: May contain spoilers.

As a hardcore fan of Brown, there's no surprise that I expected a lot from the latest installation to his series of Robert Langdon novels. Maybe I expected just a little TOO much, hence explaining the disappointments.

Okay, I do admit, this book IS a blast, and looking from sales alone (it is the fastest selling adult-market novel in history, with over one million copies sold on the first day of release), you know how popular Dan Brown really is and how many people shared the same amount of anticipation as me.

BUT (yes, there's always the butt), I felt that the climax of the story falls short of the build up and character reactions. And the ending was not exactly "satisfying." I don't get the feeling I got after I put down "Digital Fortress" and "Da Vinci Code." It was just not... breathtaking enough. Although it still can be considered as a page-turner, I don't quite think it's half as good as the 2 books I've mentioned above. Actually, now that I come to think about it, even "Deception Point" was better. :/

The good stuff.
It's easy to read. You don't need much knowledge of anything to enjoy the book (as long as you have a good sense of imagination). I actually googled some of the places and paintings that were featured in the novel and I was kind of surprised by the fact that most of my "mental creations" actually matched up to the actual imagery. :O Well I guess the credit goes to Brown's wonderful descriptions.

The smart use of symbols, mythology and conspiracy theories never failed to impress me. Obviously, this man took months and years to conduct his research. So don't expect any flaws, and expect everything to be as real and as scary as it can be. The dollar bill + 2 opposing pyramids and the marking of the word "MASONS" pops up?? Many things in the book will simply blow your minds away.

Now for the bad stuff.
I don't really see the relevance of Katherine's research to pretty much anything at all. Okay, she made quite an amazing discovery and I'm pretty sure that after reading the book, there'd be a lot of people who will begin to develop a keen interest in the research of Noetic Science. BUT, I seriously don't see her research as even barely relevant to the development of the story. Does it have to do with anything at all? How would her research affect Z at all? Hmm...

And sometimes it gets really tedious to read parts of the book because Brown would choose all the wrong timings to introduce "profound points" or "important knowledge" when what I really want to know is "what happens next??" Lol and the painful thing is that I can't just flip over to the next page. That just won't do.

But all in all, I still feel that "The Lost Symbol" is a generally good book and I'm quite positive about it. Out of the 5 books, my favourite remains as the "Digital Fortress." This is probably my 4th or 5th favourite.

Okay friends, that's all for today.
Ciao!

You're either a Coke or a Pepsi person.

2009-11-01T18:30:00.006+08:00

日曜日
君がいなくてとっても寂しいよ

Hello friends. :)

Sorry for the lack of updates. I have been pretty busy with quite a lot of stuff. New tenant, reading, studying my Japanese texts, catching up with friends over dinners and stuff.

First of all, welcome back to Singapore Wayne! :) Had a great session catching up with Wayne and Lucas on Friday night. The movie was BAD ("Love Happens," a film that deserves no more than 0 stars) but it was the chat over dinner that really mattered.

I finished another book by Picoult. It's her 2nd oldest book called "Harvesting the Heart." I think it was published 15 or 16 years ago. Really old book but as usual Picoult has a great style I cannot seem to dislike (despite of the fact that many people find her stories boring / monotonous after awhile.) It's kind of difficult to restrain myself from reading her books. Gonna strike off more in time to come.

So anyway, I have been thinking about how I should view army in a more positive manner. I figured that to mark my 6th month "anniversary" in NS, I need to do something major, and that is, to twitch my way of thinking.

What came to mind is how I overcame my fear for Science and Math during the schooling days. I think most of you should know that I just CANNOT do Physics. I have never passed a single Physics test / exam in my ENTIRE life. But I was never disappointed or whatever with it 'cause I simply hated the subject, finding it of absolutely no relevance to my life. But I escaped the shittiness of Physics by merely not picking it as a subject in JC. The attempt of changing my attitude towards the subject failed miserably because I chose to avoid instead of confront. Hence it was simply not part of my life anymore. But I still hate it nevertheless.

Then history repeats itself in JC. H2 Math was a disaster. I was so busy with art and other commitments that it became unquestionable that I had no time for Math. Besides, I hated the subject. I didn't understand the formulas, I skipped lessons, I didn't practise, I didn't do the tutorials and my teacher was running around the school looking for me and my non-existent homework. HAHA Mrs. Sivam. :P So ya, it was really bad. I got an U for my promos. :O

However I've decided to change my mentality (finally coming to the point.) I told myself I cannot screw up Math simply because it was my contrasting subject and there's no point getting 3As and 1U. It's like a mustache on Megan Fox's face. Hence I viewed Math as an enemy I need to win over, and besides, it's just numbers, how hard can it be? So with hard work and consistent practise, I managed to pull off that A.

Okay, I did get the A that I wanted and I was happy that I proved myself right. However, I always knew that I am not a Science person. The world is always decided into 2. You're either a man or a woman; you either like Coke or Pepsi; you either have Chocolate or Vanilla... And the list goes on. What I am trying to say that most people are either Humanities-oriented or Science-oriented. There isn't exactly an in-between kind of thing. Okay fine, I know that there are people who are good at both, but I believe that these geniuses or prodigies definitely have their inclinations. Take Leonardo Da Vinci as an example. He was a scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, botanist, musician and writer. Despite having so many areas of expertise, I guess all of you will have to agree with me that he is most well-known for his flare in painting. Paintings like the "Mona Lisa" and the "The Last Supper" have survived eras and people still worship them at this very moment.

Okay so now back to my point. I guess in order to make my army life more interesting, I will have to adopt a new attitude. That is, to know and realise that repairing tanks is indeed not where my passion and talent lies in, BUT, I can make things better by altering my attitude. There are skills that I can pick up from the workshop and learn how to deal with different kinds of people. To be very honest, the past 6 months have been quite an eventful time. I got a chance to interact with people I've never thought I'll ever get to interact with; I did things I've never thought I'll ever get to do, and I made friends with people I've never thought I'll ever see (LOL like some tongue twister.)

That's all for today.
Time for dinner.

Take care my friends.
A beautiful week awaits.

頑張って！

Because thinking about you makes me smile.

2009-10-25T21:56:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I am weak, I think about things that make me happy.
Things that give me joy, motivation, a sense of purpose, and weightlessness.

And obviously God comes into the picture.
He's the pool of faith that I draw from whenever I'm feeling lost or displaced. Without doubt I depend a lot on Him for strength and guidance.

And then comes my Mum.
Despite the fact that she's not physically by my side most of the time, I can always feel her presence around me. My Mum is kind of like my hero. I have to say that despite being a really stubborn person, I listen to my Mum's words a lot. I keep her words at the back of my head all the time. My way of handling / doing things is also greatly influenced by my Mum, 'cause I think she's absolutely superb at dealing with issues and I've adopted the "style" from her. So whenever I'm feeling shitty or crappy, I just need to think about all the hardships that she and the people of her time had gone through and it'll really make things feel a lot better.

And then my friends, of course.
I can say that you guys are properly the most important people in my life. The fact that I know someone will pick me up whenever I fall, encourage me whenever I falter is just the most amazing feeling ever. *HUG*

Oh, I caught "(500) Days of Summer" yesterday with Jiemeis! Fantastic show, will blog about it soon.

AND HAPPY 6 MONTHS TO THOSE WHO ENLIST ON 24 APRIL! :D

1/4 of the pie is gone.
3/4 to go.

Yum.

Somethings are not from concentrate.

2009-10-19T17:55:00.004+08:00

I have this sudden obsession with the cretaceous period. Some of the stuff that I've read amused me like nobody's business. Hmm.

Anyway, I have been thinking about a lot of really random stuff. Like what is the gender of Doraemon? I tried Wikipedia and apparently Doraemon is a "robotic cat." So a robot should not have a clear gender, right? But Doraemon has a girlfriend from the future! Her name is Noramyako. Hahaha so is Doraemon a guy or just some asexual creature?

OKAY LAME I know nobody cares.

This is what 3 days of fever do to your brain.

I have been sitting in front of the TV / computer for the past few days (other times spent on the bed, sleeping, of course.) The last time I was this sick was properly last October, during my A levels preparation period. Back then I remember I was literally boiling. My temperature was really high and I thought I was gonna die or something. -.- But I didn't have the luxury to slack, I had to rush art or something. Haha the gymnastics worlds at London kept me accompanied for the past few days.

I am too lazy to talk about it, though I have a lot to say. I am still not completely well (my voice still sounds super nasal and tranny-like and I got a whole load of phlegm in me) but I'll return to camp tomorrow. Gonna sleep early.

WAHHHHHH another week.
FRIDAY
FRIDAY
FRIDAY

Soon it'll be 6 months in army.
It calls for celebration. :)

And my b'dae is coming up as well!
Teehee.

鱼

2009-10-13T22:04:00.004+08:00

一条鱼从鱼缸里跳了出来。

你看到这种情形的第一个反应肯定是及时地拾起在作垂死挣扎鱼儿，然后把它轻轻地放回鱼缸里。

今天在兵营里目睹了这一幕。看着鱼儿在水里游动的样子，我突然联想到了水的力量。我们都知道鱼儿一生下来就无法离开水面。水就是它们的家，只是它们和人不一样。我们不会因远离家乡而为此死亡，但它们却没有选择的余地。可以说，没有了所谓的“家”，它们就会跟着失去生存下去的力量。

有时我倒觉得这种“不幸”是种很幸福的事情。好希望自己能够像鱼儿那样，永远心系家园，但却不失那种敢于挑战的冒险精神，时时刻刻都带有无穷的勇气来准备与命运搏斗，跳出水面，为自己的精彩而好好地奋斗一番。

就算只为了那一秒钟的光荣。

下着雨的拜一操场。

2009-10-12T20:44:00.006+08:00

雨的力量再次让我陷入一股谜团。

这次仿佛走到了令人恐惧的分岔口，在丑态不断地扭曲与拉扯下，找不到任何值得追逐的方向。

这显然不是一个允许你停靠在此的熟悉路口。你可以秉住呼吸, 缩小自己的存在范围，但在下一秒，你就会被无情的黑洞拉走，卷入一场明争暗斗的狂风暴雨中。

有时真的觉得人活在世上很累。我们为了保护自己而做出出卖自己的事情。这种可笑的悖论与矛盾是种很可悲的现实。但我们无从选择，因为这就是21世纪的生存之道。我们互相残杀，我们彼此背叛，最终换来的是那一丁点儿卑微的满足与快感。

你觉得这样有意思吗？

Things going through my Sunday-night-mind (yet again)...

2009-10-04T19:33:00.002+08:00

I don't know but I just have this weird urge to blog on Sunday nights. It seems like the perfect time for me to just rant and talk rubbish. Oh well.

Anyway my tenant's out of my house. *Cheers?*
Hahaha... So yeah, the house is kind of empty right now. I moved the TV to my room and so far it has been quite disastrous. Why? 'Cause I am freaking watching TOO MUCH TV. Kind of making me sleep late. Bad.

So October is the crazy month of birthdays. Through these years I've learnt that 1) I need to save money in the month of September so that 2) I won't be broke in October. It's kind of funny how (almost) all my closest friends are born in the month of October.

Currently I'm waiting for [REC2] to be out on torrent. Can't wait to see the movie. :O

Okay this blog post was meant to be a long one but thanks to all the distractions that Grace Wang is offering me, I just can't seem to focus.

Bye for now.
HAVE A GOOD WEEK AHEAD! :)

Whatever happened to my wallet.

2009-09-28T19:19:00.010+08:00

Haha I've finally got the time to blog about it.
So for those who have been asking (and didn't get to hear the story 'cause I was just too freaking emo), this is for you. :)

So for last weekend, I was put to ride on the infamous emotional roller coaster. I had a great weekend planned out for myself but I guess God thought otherwise. So instead of heading to parties and chilling out with friends, I had a chance to taste the full spectrum of humanly-possible emotions.

The story began on Friday night.
*cues background music*

I went to St. James with June, Darrell and Joel (and met Lucas, Bryan, Zach and gang there). Had a great time there, I mean with the busy week and all, it was indeed a fantastic time for me to loosen up and to just chill and relax. So after that we decided to go for supper @ West Coast McDonalds. Just in case you are wondering, I still had my wallet then, 'cause I had to use some coins to pay for my drink.

After the short meal, Joel drove Darrell and I to Clementi and we hopped into a taxi. It was when I got off the cab that I realised I've lost my wallet. I was like OH SHIT. You can imagine how panicky I was at that point of time. I had all my 11B and crap in my wallet. And most importantly, my KEYS. AHHH. Without the keys, I wouldn't be able to go home ('cause my tenant was in K.L.). Okay, screwed. At that moment I was desperately trying to calm down (but obviously failed, note the oxymoron). I took a deep breath and called Darrell, who was still on the cab, and 5 minutes later, he was back at my house.

We searched the cab. Nope, it wasn't there. Damn. So we went alllllllllll the way back to West Coast. I texted Joel and he said that he couldn't find my wallet in his car. Double damn. Upon reaching the restaurant, I ran in and I saw a group of people at the table we were at just half an hour ago. I headed to the counter and I told the cashier what happened. She gave me the "confused + act blur/cute" look and I was like... ...triple damn. SHE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT, WHICH MEANS SHE HAD NOT SEEN MY WALLET. So I called the manager over and she asked me to hold on. I told her my wallet's brown and she went into this storeroom that probably hosts all the lost and found items. AND THEN SHE WALKED OUT WITH A WALLET. My heart was pumping SUPER fast.

AND GUESS WHAT?!

It wasn't my wallet. -.- It had some stupid patterns on it and my heart just sank. Damn damn damn damn. It felt like I've just won the lottery but some dog ate up the ticket. Ya know that kind of feeling? Yeah, bad as hell.

I am VERY sure that I've left the wallet at McDonalds. I suspect that some random customer took it after I've left the restaurant, or maybe the cleaner did. Okay never mind, thou shall not assume.

Following that, I called the police. This is probably the first time I'm calling the police (okay not counting the prank calls I've made when I was young)... I was instructed to head over to Clementi Police Station to file a police report. I think Darrell was sober by then. Lol.

So we headed to the station on the same cab. I've never been to a police station at 5 in the morning, so it was kind of refreshing. The experience, I mean.

I witnessed a middle-aged man trying to bail his brother out for whatever reasons. It was kind of scary actually. I talked to a police office who happened to be very helpful. He tried his very best to calm me down (but failed miserably). Hahaha... I was mumbling some rubbish but I think he typed everything and printed a copy of all the nonsense I've said.

Darrell's kind offer of inviting me over to his house literally saved my life. I had no access to my house (and on top of that, no cash or whatsoever), hence I had nowhere to go. We reached his house at approximately 7. GUESS HOW MUCH WAS THE CAB FARE?

$68.50

LOL. A new record.

I took a shower, changed into some fresh clothes, and said a few prayers before falling asleep. Normally when I emo, I can't sleep well. But I was SO exhausted that I actually had quite a good sleep. I kept praying for a miracle, like maybe the next day will come and the wallet will miraculously appear in my bag or something. Which was kind of stupid. As you can see, I was really desperate.

I woke up at around noon time. Borrowed Darrell's computer and googled on locksmiths and stuff. I called the banks to cancel my cards. Chatted with June, Justin and YY and they offered me quite a bit of help. Made me feel a whole lot better. :)

I loaned 200 bucks from Darrell and we settled lunch @ Subway. The locksmith came at 5 and he took 30 minutes to break 3 locks. I was quite shocked by how easy it was for him 'cause I thought these locks were meant to be SECURED (which means difficult to break?). Hmm...

Okay so basically this is what that happened. I've already done everything I could to retrieve all the important cards and documents that were originally in my wallet. I've changed the locks and got replacements for my credit cards. I am no longer emo and I think I've learnt an important lesson. It's not easy living alone but I'll just need to deal with it. Though things would have been a lot easier if my parents were here, this experience really taught me how to manage certain things better.

And most importantly, I am blessed to have friends who are willing to offer their helping hands whenever I get myself into shitty situations like this. :) Thank you people.

Last but not least:
What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. :)

La Vie est Belle

2009-09-23T22:04:00.003+08:00

For the past few days, I over-timed like crazy. :O (I reached home at 20:50 today.)

So now I get a feel of how life would be when work REALLY starts to flood in.
Agonizingly exciting. *cues irony*

During the last few hours of work today, I actually felt quite dizzy (and high, 'cause when I am super tired, I get high lol). I think repeated the procedure of mounting and dismounting the tanks for a total of 40 times or so. I was so tired that it felt like as though I needed to draw energy from every part of my body just to lift up that one leg of mine. Hahaha oh well.

But honestly speaking, the entire process is quite a fulfilling one. I've learnt quite a bit from both the seniors and the staffs and I get this tiny sense of achievement whenever I manage to get things to work. Teehee.

Ultimately I just have to say that I'm kind of enjoying myself right now. Time seems to pass exceptionally fast and I get really good sleep at night. Improvement in quality of sleep = directly proportionate rise in happiness level. :)

Okay anyway many people have been asking me about "The Lost Symbol." I am still in the process of finishing the book. I think I'll finish it this weekend and write a thorough review on it. So far the plot has been really exciting, just like Brown's other books. Page-turner.

And one last thing, if you want me to lend you the book, I'm perfectly fine with it. But right now there are already 7 people in the queue (LOL), so if you want it, just tell me, and I'll tell you when the rest are done with it. If not, just hop over to the nearest bookstore and buy it. It's selling at $48 if I'm not wrong.

OKAY TIME TO SLEEP.
Nights world!

PS: Exciting weekend ahead. :D

Frozen hot chocolate and jumbo shrimps.

2009-09-21T02:16:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. I had a crazy week. :)

First and foremost, I just wanna say that I am adapting well to my new camp. Gedong isn't as depressing as what people have described it to be, and I think I'm gonna do just fine. :)

I'm glad that this weekend is a long one (if not I wouldn't be blogging at this ungodly hour)... Had a lot of fun catching up with people and I am supeerrr tired from all the outings.

I had dinner with Gabriel, June, Justin and Javier on Friday night. Headed to ZL's house after that for mahjong & KTV. Okay the mahjong didn't really happen for me 'cause I was just so damn tired. Hahaha Eng Wei and I just slept our way through while the rest were enjoying themselves. Yes, I was THAT tired. The next day, Eng Wei, Deyong and I had a 2 hour lunch at Casuarina Curry, eating and chatting our time away.

Then comes Sunday. Met up with my CF pals after church. We caught "The Time Traveler's Wife." The movie wasn't as good as I expected, and apparently it is quite shitty when you compare it to the novel itself (which is usually the case)... Oh well. We caught up over dinner @ The Mussel Guys. Had a great evening. :)

Came back to Thomson and met up with Lucas and Wayne. I'm glad that our affair has turned into a weekly thing. Hahaha. We had some awesome desserts at Cheeky Chocolate before heading home.

Tiring weekend but I had loads of fun.
I caught "Bruno" and "Ponyo" on DVD. Will blog about them when I feel like it.

Meanwhile, oyasumi my friends. :)

It's when I look up the sky, it's You that I see.

2009-09-14T20:26:00.003+08:00

And so today's day 1 for me.
Sungei Gedong!

Lol like what most people describe it to be, it is indeed located at a “鸟不生蛋，狗不拉屎” place. I felt like as if I was traveling to some God forsaken part of Singapore. The area don't even look like it actually exists in Singapore, it's more like some rural parts of Malaysia / China or something.

But the air was great. The smell of nature. Ha okay lame.

I'm glad that there's this shuttle bus that brings us to Chua Chu Kang MRT everyday, if not I think I'll seriously die sitting on that crowded 975. I have to say that the traveling can be quite tedious but nevertheless it's a stay-out unit, so there's really nothing to complain about.

The people are great; the seniors are a bunch of fun-loving dudes and I think working with them is gonna be fun. :) Got to know a few of them today and everything's pretty good so far.

And oh, the food in Gedong is awesome (which is a great surprise)! They have awesome Malay and Western food. Now I understand why people choose not to eat the food at the cookhouse.

Okay sorry if I'm boring you with all these uninteresting things that I'm blogging about. I think it's just all for keepsake, so in years to come when I read all these stuff, I'll laugh at how retarded I am.

Also, the journey back home with Darrell plus our ultra long talks on the bus / train begins once again! Hoho. :D

Okay it's 10 already! Sleepy sleepy.
Nights world! :)

Sunday evening thoughts.

2009-09-13T17:41:00.005+08:00

I thought I need to get my life in check.
So I shall write down some of the things that I'll be working on from now onwards:

1) Work on the scholarships.
I'm gonna put UBC aside for awhile and consider more options. After talking to Helsa over dinner the other day, I thought it's only right to look at the different possibilities. I'm confident that if I sign up for the MOE Teaching Scholarship, I'll most likely get it 'cause not many people want to teach Mandarin. But the thing is that I want to pursue communication studies (or widely known as mass communications) and definitely not spend 4 years of my life learning the Chinese Language. I admit I do have a passion for Mandarin but I don't want to study it for U, it's just too (insert word here). So another possibility would be to try for the SPH scholarship. I admit it's not easy to get a scholarship from SPH but I've been a student journalist for Zaobao for quite awhile so I guess it helps a bit? Now I just have to pray really hard and do all the research properly. :)

2) Settle my tenant issue.
As most of you know, my current tenant is gonna move out soon. I'm still in the tiring process of looking for a replacement. And oh, I'm gonna move the TV over to my room. :) I feel the need to watch more TV nowadays, I mean with Singapore Idol and stuff (lol I can't believe I just said this.) Okay no, what I really want is to watch more news and get more current affair into me. It just struck me the other day that before our year, all students who wish to get into NTU Mass Comms need to pass a current affairs quiz. Thank God we don't have to do that, if not I'm pretty sure I'll fail that one quite badly. But then again it emphasizes on the importance of everyday news and happenings around the world, which is basically what a media personnel has to work with, and most of these stuff actually do interest me, so why not? :)

3) Strike books off my reading list.
I have A LOT of books to read. But the thing is that I think I'm reading a lot of retarded stories which don't really do me any good. Hahaha so I'm trying to compile a list of bestsellers which can actually inspire me in any ways. I think reading is really kind of enjoyable, 'cause it allows me to indulge in another world, which gives me time to take a break from my own.

4) Save up for an SLR.
I need an SLR with video-recording capabilities. But I need the $$$ (which leads on to point 5!)

5) Give tuition during the weekends.
I just called up my agent (who is really just a friend of mine haha) and she is trying to help me find students who need tuition on Mandarin / Econs. :O

6) Pray more, rely on God all the time and stop thinking about rubbish.
I come to realise how mentally (and physically) weak I can be at times. But I realised that although there are rough and difficult times, I always manage to pull myself together at the end of day and walk through the stormy days. Of course, all my friends help a lot. Knowing that they'll always be there for me can already make me smile like an idiot. But then again, all these would not have been possible if I wasn't granted with the strength of my Maker. His Grace, His guidance. It warms me every time I pray before I sleep, and I get a comfort which can be indescribably awesome.

7) Keep writing.
For obvious reasons. :)

Take care my friend.
Know that I love you when you are reading this.

Cheese stinks but it tastes good.

2009-09-09T22:50:00.002+08:00

Life has been unstable and you know I hate it this way.

I'm hopping from camp to camp and there are some screw-ups here and there with regards to my posting.

But I think things will settle down pretty soon. And I'm praying that everything will be alright soon.

I will miss the dudes over @ Kranji. Hate to leave but oh well...
No choice, things just happen. Fate sealed.

Azaza fighting!!

What matters to me this Monday afternoon.

2009-09-07T12:33:00.007+08:00

For the past weekend, I've been pondering over what exactly is the "real world" to me.

Catching up with June and Gabriel over dinners seems real to me.
Army talks and movie outings with Wayne and Lucas seem real to me as well.

It made workshop life surreal, 'cause it seemed like as if realism is life before enlistment.

I don't know how to make myself any clearer but this is what I'm currently experiencing. Kind of reminds me of art sometimes. I'm always amused by how Dali and Magritte depict realism with such juxtaposition and awkwardness. It awes me, sometimes confusing me, and I can't tell between what's tangible and what's not.

And every once in awhile, I feel the most "real" when I'm in the movies or delighting myself with a good book. It know it's an oxymoron 'cause movies and story books are mostly fictional, false worlds constructed to appear real, but sometimes they touch me the most, and that's why I enjoy indulging myself in this weird realm of realism.

And maybe that's why I enjoy movies and books so much.

I caught "District 9" on Saturday night with Wayne and Lucas, after a satisfying meal at Fish and Co. (mended by a group of really "funny" waitresses.) The movie wasn't as good as I expected. I think I expected too much, I mean with the hype and all. But there are simply TOO many plot holes. It makes the story stupid, for some reasons. And I don't understand why the lead role (Wikus van de Merwe) has to be portrayed by some Borat-like actor. It irritates the hell out of me. Lol seriously, it does no good to the plot and it's just plain irritating. Also, I wasn't touched at all by the whole "human-alien-relationship-thingy" 'cause I think this concept has been heavily exploited. It saddens me that a potentially fantastic film was ruined by a ridiculously retarded plot. (Alien prostitution?! Geez.)

Anyway I've been reading quite a bit recently. I finished 5 books in 2 months. :O
In fact I just finished "She's come Undone" by Wally Lamb moments ago.

It's about the story of a fat girl. The novel was widely read after being chosen as an Oprah's Book Club selection in January 1997. Oprah and fat girl. Hmm... :D

Dolores Price is very sassy, yet as we get to know her we discover she is a warm and humane person. We experience her interpretation of the world around her as she comes of age, her mother's desent into mental illness, the consequences of her parents divorce, and of being raped at the age of 13. Subsequently she swells to 263 pounds and eventually is checked into a mental institution. To be honest, if I was reading this summary I would be turned off by the story line (and I haven't included every awful thing that happens to her). But don't be. Dolores is a really marvelous character and Lamb does a fine job of getting us into her head with just enough humor to keep us from descending into the depths of depression. Moreover, he does an astonishing job writing from a female perspective. This is an early Oprah Book Club selection, so accept the fact that the central character has experienced physical, sexual and/or mental abuse. It also means that it is a well written book.

I think it's an awesome read. There were times I laughed, times I stopped to take deep breaths, and times I stared into blank space just to think and reflect. I liked how the author inserted a lot of actual happenings, making the story more believable. I sympathize with Dolores a lot and there are many important lessons to learn from her story, be it about life or love. A must-to-read. :)

By the way it's not an easy book to read. I think it makes people kind of emo. Oh well. :D

Okay that's all I have for today. I've got 3 more books to finish before "The Lost Symbol" comes out on the 15th. :O

PS: I've been praying for you Jan. I hope you'll have a speedy recovery and be all happy and cheery, just like the old you. :)

拜天晚上的挣扎。

2009-08-30T19:43:00.003+08:00

一年好像很快就要过去了。

可以说2009年对我来说一个很大的挣扎。
入伍后的生活是段凹凸不平的道路，有时阳光明媚，有时却乌云密布。

我不喜欢把生命浪费在一个对我毫无意义的东西上，但我没有选择的余地。我不能说“不”，只能说“可以”，因为这就是在兵营里的日子。我必须得让自己像机器一样地完成一样对我来说一点兴趣也没有的工作。我讨厌这种无助的感觉。

我试着让生命有多一点的色彩，我试着让生活充实起来，但每次的尝试都会因为一点点得不稳定而前功尽弃。
与朋友的欢乐也是暂时性的解脱，因为在那疯狂后的安静躲着令人窒息的寂寞与不安。

最近很想妈。好久没有看到她了，跟她通话时我也只能不停地说自己很好，自己很开心。我很难通过话筒来跟她掏心掏肺，因为我不想交待太多。我怕自己会讲到哽咽，而这样肯定会让她担心不已。有些自语我只能跟眼泪一样吞下去。

明天又是新的一周的开始。
我不知道以后还会发生些什么。

但我能做的不多。

祈祷，
告诉自己这一切都会很快地过去。

也就这样而已。

The days in OETI.

2009-08-24T19:51:00.016+08:00

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

So today marks the 4th month of my NS journey (by the way it's also my 2nd last day in OETI.) Because to me, life is really all about reflections and experiences; hence I've decided to take some time to pen down some of these thoughts. And obviously, I figured out that blogging would be the best way for me to do so.

To be 100% honest, seeing my online posting back in June was an entirely miserable experience. Somehow the word "technician" fails epically when you want to strike it with a link to a person like me. Having failed Physics since sec 1 (and it went on to upper sec... actually I have no idea why I was even placed in triple science), I understood very clearly that things like physics / mechanics / machinery / grease / workshop are not part of my forté.

And so on the very first day of book-in, I stepped onto the grounds of OETI with a very heavy heart, not knowing what to expect. All I could remember was that I prayed really hard the night before (and I couldn't really sleep or something). And oh, that Shui Rong was posted to the same course as me. Hahaha oh well...

I always believe that God works in many mysterious ways. Just like how I've never imagined myself in coveralls working my ass off in a workshop, He decided to make it happen for me. It became a fresh experience, be it I like it or not.

Having to see, then touch, then getting into a tank was actually quite an amazing process. The excitement in me was indescribable (although I tried very hard to contain it hahaha). For some reason, it was far more exciting than getting my hands on the SAR21. Maybe it's because tanks always seem so "surreal", or should I say more inaccessible / elusive / unreachable / you-get-what-I-mean.

And so the days go by and slowly my interest in mechanics begin to grow from nothingness to a little spark and then to a slightly bigger spark. I had to get in touch with Physics once again and convince myself to like the job, before I could actually embark on it. It taught me to be more disciplined, and to have a stronger sense of determination. It taught me to view life differently, to understand that we can't always have the sweetest apple in the basket, and that although we may not be the brightest bulb on the tanning bed, we can strive our best to make good things happen. This is basically how I overcame my struggles during the course.

Talk about counting my blessings, I just want to say that I am blessed with really awesome course mates and instructors. Throughout the duration of the course, I forged close friendships with 8 very special people, each with their very unique character and trait. I shall spend a little bit of time writing mini-testimonials for them. :D
According to how we sit in class:

Darrell
My going home buddy.
I've always enjoyed the long bus rides, be it emo or not (ha), and the chit-chats we had over Subway sandwiches. I take joy in listening to your stories and I really think you have a flare in music. Don't be afraid to pursue your dreams, I believe you will make it big someday. Jiayou my friend. And yes, I will definitely intro you to ____ if I have the chance. HAHA!

Sherman
The one I can talk non-stop to.
It's never quiet with you around and I enjoy the chemistry we have with each other. I am talking about the jokes. Hahaha... Like for some reason we don't have to explain much to each other and we'll be able to understand what each other are thinking. Pretty amazing huh? :D *Your ______ will deteriorate further." HAHA. *inside joke*

Nic
Our happy pill.
The happy-go-lucky dude who's always smiling his way through. It seems that nothing really bothers him, and I am truly envious of such people sometimes. I think I will really miss all your lame jokes after leaving OETI. :(

Shui Rong
Somehow I have turned into his personal translator.
Well actually, I have to say a big thank-you to Shui Rong. I know he probably won't get to see this but I'll write anyway. This dude here taught me a lot, like how I really need to be more patient and accepting to people with different needs. Because of his poor command of English, I was always being paired up with him so that I could translate for him. It happened during our final test, the trade challenge and many other occasions. At first I saw it as a burden, but after awhile I realised that it is only right that I try my very best to help him with as much as I could. Being a teacher in Fairfield taught me the exact same thing. Now I am more sensitive to the needs of others and working with Shui Rong really taught me how to anger-manage (LOL) and the importance of using different methods and approaches to teach somebody something.

Shao Xiong
It has been a long way. I practically spent all 4 months with you (from the BMT days to now)... Learn to protect yourself, friend. I really hope you will be able to find some really good buddies in the new unit and all the best to all that you do. :)

Kam
The "big brother" who works very hard.
You're always the first to offer your helping hand when someone asks for help. And thanks for feeding us with all your yummy tit-bits. Haha you are just like a mobile mama-shop. Thanks for all the guidance you have given me (be it in mechanics or DOTA), I'll never forget the days in OETI with you.

Jason
It's amazing how I can always talk about the deepest things in life with this chap here. I am awed by how motivated you can be sometimes and it always inspires me to work towards my dreams. I think you have very powerful stories to tell so continue to do so. All the best to you my friend.

And now for the instructors. :)
According to sequence of "appearance":

Warrant Koh
The WSM who reeeallyy frightened me on the first day.
He is the first person in army who asked me to "knock it down." Hahaha I could still remember the whole incident. I think I wasn't standing properly (actually I was making adjustments) when we were falling in and so he told me to get into pumping position. I tried to explain to him that due to my upper limb injury, I am unable to do push-ups, and wanted to ask if it is possible to change to sit-ups instead. But somehow after several fruitless attempts of explaining myself, he shouted at me. I felt quite foolish, I mean I could have just kept quiet and did the sit-ups. I shouldn't even have tried to explain. So I got quite scared of him after that (HAHA how silly)... And then as the days go by, I realised that Warrant Koh really cares a lot for the trainees and it is evident in a lot of the things that he did. I think he makes a good WSM because he knows when to punish and when to be nice. He can be lenient to you but you can't take advantage of it. Days in OETI would be so stale without him around.

Warrant Yeo
The father.
I think Warrant Yeo really plays the role of the father. He's the fatherly figure in Turret and the infamous Shui Rong incident showed us how much he really cares for each and everyone of us. As our PC he was able to spot the problem, identify the root cause and solve it with good methodology. Many instructors say that Warrant Yeo is one of the nicest people around and I can really tell why. His actions shine as much as his character does. :)

Sergeant Marcus
A distinctive instructor.
One of the nicest people you can find. Being under him gives you absolutely no pressure. There really isn't the trainee | instructor barrier, and you can talk to him like a good friend of yours. He's the one we look for when we have problems and he always attends to us. One thing I like most about him is that he knows what we are thinking of (and we didn't even have to say a thing.) Talk about being an excellent instructor. :)

Sergeant Kwa
The serious one!
It's rare to see sergeant Kwa smile but he's smiling alot more after his wedding. Hahaha that's something we all noticed. And I'll never forget "can be done", "can try" and all the other famous lines he said with that very stern face of his. It was great fun learning from him. :D

Master Tay
The one who seems to know it all.
Lol actually now that I think about it, the whole "scallop" thing is actually quite funny. It's hilarious how in an email that I've sent him I stated very clearly that my name is SKYLER and not scallop, he can still reply me with "Thank you Scallop." HAHA craziness.

Warrant Stella
It's a pity we only have a few days with Warrant Stella. But somehow I laugh a lot when she's around as she has a very subtle sense of humour that never fails to amuse me. And she bought us calamari rings during our Marche lunch. HAHA it's the little things people do that I remember best. :) All 8 of us have a card that has her contacts on it and she told us to call her if we experience problems in the new unit. Somehow this gives me a strong sense of security. All in all we all know she's a really nice instructor. I think we all wished that we could have a bit more time with her though. :/

Ultimately, I have to say that my experience in OETI has been a wonderful one and I really can't bear to live the place. To top it off, I was blessed enough to be awarded with the title of being the "Best Trainee." :O

PS: I hope that in days / months / years to come, when someone googles up on OETI after receiving his posting (just like what I did back in June), he'll chance upon this blog post. I hope he'll meet the same people I've met and enjoy the same experiences I've had. Do not be afraid friend, a wonderful journey awaits you. :)

Last but not least, always remember: Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.

第118天的联想。

2009-08-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

没有光线的房间
空气弥漫着干枯的烟草味
受困的肉体不断啃噬着对方
灵魂指引出无法逃脱的方向
死神与恶魔不断在拉扯
蹂躏着那渴望天光的呼救
双手似乎已经触摸到了出口
但模糊的视线却成了让自己无助不堪的累赘
我心中的火焰不断在呼喊着远方的光芒
紧捆的身子却不听使唤地选择停靠在此

在这个世界里
没有自由，所以不需梦想

在这个世界里
没有温度，所以找不到生命

这是第118天的联想。

我的“艺术家脾气”

2009-08-17T19:20:00.001+08:00

从中学时期就有人说过我有所谓的“艺术家脾气。”从老师的嘴中我也常常听到同样的话语，而我自己也的确承认自己的确是有这个小毛病。但我倒觉得每个懂得尊重与爱惜自己的艺术家都一定会有某种程度上的艺术家脾气，因为如果你不是个会为维护自己作品而做出战斗的艺术家，那我也没有那个必要去尊重你与你的作品。

我认为一个人的创作包含了属于自己的风格，理念，创意以及色彩，而每一个元素对一个原创作品都是很重要的。如果你因为一个人的否定而做出妥协，或是因为他人的意见而做出动摇，那的确是种很可悲的现象（除非你真的觉得提议比你现有的点子要好。）我最受不了的是那些不懂艺术，胡乱批评艺术品的人。如果你是个在江湖混了已久的艺术家，那好，我尊重你的批评指教。但如果你只是个自以为很了不起的没品路人，那抱歉，我无法忍受你那可笑的白目。所以我说，在发表意见之前，你最好确定自己有的是真正的substance，否则你BBY开口，变成众人取笑的对象。这样的行为我看得太多，只觉得如果你真的对一件事物不了的话，那就请你不要开口放炮乱讲一通，要不然肯定会有人不爽你。这点我可以肯定。

我们每个人在这个世上能活上多少年？我们怎么可能对事事都了如指掌？如果是你擅长的领域，那好，你就尽管表现，不需保留地发挥特长。但该到其他人发光发热的时候，请你务必让出王位，当一个聪明理智的观赏者，免得害得自己在强者面前摔个四脚朝天，吃不了兜着走。

The tears behind "Up."

2009-08-16T20:14:00.002+08:00

Caution: Contains spoilers.

I've always been a great fan of the productions of Pixar Animations.
Other than the fact that most of Pixar's movies can easily achieve both critical and commercial success, one thing I like most is that most of its films can touch hearts and change lives.

"Up," of course, was of no exception.

By far, the most interesting and unique thing about this movie, compared to the rest of the modern-day animated flicks, is that this movie is the most realistic. The movie tells us that not all dreams are achievable, and in life we may not get whatever we want or whatever we hope for. Sometimes we may need to give up on certain things when obstacles come in your way but that doesn't necessarily make us losers. We may find ourselves blessed with more beautiful things, be it friendship, love and many other things which are simply more important than just a dream.

My favourite scene got to be the part where Carl finally pulled the house to the Paradise Fall. It was meant to be a beautiful moment but my heart broke for him when he opened the door. The "perfect" moment was destroyed, and in front of him was the ugly reality. He may have achieved his dream but it wasn't how he expected it to be. Despite trying very hard to make things go back to normal, he realised it was all useless. Sitting on his chair didn't make him feel any less empty. And then he took out the book that his wife had given to him. It was then that he realised the adventure he had planned to fulfill for his wife was never the most important, because the most amazing thing for her has already happened, which was to marry him and to live with him till the day she dies. And so I was unable to hold my tears.

The movie also reminded me about the importance of promises. Carl was a man who kept his promises. He was willing to throw everything away just so that he can help Russell rescue Kevin. Those were memories that were so important to him, but maybe one can say that it was the memories that weighed him down, but nevertheless he made such an important sacrifice for the people he truly loves.

Another part that I really loved is the storm scene. Remember how both Carl and Russell reached out for the things that meant most to themselves at that very moment? Trying to salvage as much as they could. Carl reached out for the photos of Ellie while Russell held on to his bag. That's life isn't it? When tough times come we try our very best to keep things which are closest to our hearts. If the world is going to end tomorrow, I am very sure that I would want to be with the ones who are the most important to me and I would never let them move one step away from me.

Ultimately I really enjoyed the film. It's the kind of movie that would stay with me for a long period of time, and I recommend everyone to watch it.

PS: "Where got Ghost?" is a complete failure. Fail fail fail.

The Monday night that feels so much like a Sunday night.

2009-08-10T22:11:00.002+08:00

Another long weekend.
It felt like I was speed reading a book, flip flip flip and 3 days are gone.

Had our (first?) comm retreat @ Isaac's house last night. I've always enjoyed time spent with my fellow comm, and it's kind of amazing that we still meet up at least once a month or so, be it to worship, to pray, to fellowship or simply to catch-up with one another. Everything we do seems to be an extension of the good old AC days, where life (of course) was probably 30 times more hectic than now. Come to think about it, it was really easy to lose focus back then.

We had an awesome time of prayer and worship and it was a great opportunity for most of us to really pause and stay still for that few moments to talk and draw ourselves nearer to God. Sometimes in our lives we tend to neglect God for other things that we deem as more important and only come back to Him when we falter or stumble. It's important to know that God is just like our friend. We don't look for our friends only when we are in trouble, as friends are in our lives both during the good and the bad times. We need to develop a healthy relationship with God, to give thanks to Him each and every single day. He is everliving, everlasting and forever good. God is the same no matter how crushed, how destroyed and how weak you are. He is there when you need him and it is important to stay connected to him at all times. His light shines the brightest when you learn to praise Him in a storm. A God-centered life is a life with light and direction.

Alright this little reflection of mine shall end off today's post. :)

Good night world.
Have a good week ahead!

王家卫的电影世界

2009-08-10T16:07:00.006+08:00

（这篇我好久以前就写好了，但是一直没有时间坡上网而已。）

《篮每之夜》(“My Blueberry Nights”) 是一部对我来说很有感觉的好片子。有时觉得无聊或怎么样就会把这部老片子翻出来回味一下，顺便沉淀在王家卫的电影世界里。

当中我最喜欢的一幕是 Norah Jones 与 Jude Law 在咖啡厅里的几句对话。她问他为什么不把顾客留在咖啡厅里的钥匙通通丢掉，何必去把它们收在一个玻璃瓶里。他的回答是：如果他把客人所留下的钥匙通通扔掉，那就会有好几扇门永远都无法被打开，而这并不是一个应该由他来决定的一件事。

喜欢王家卫的电影，是因为我欣赏他独有的风格与艺术手法。他的台词通常不容易懂，要去亲身体会，要用心去感受，否则你可能会很迷惑地走出影院。王导的电影故事性也不强，所以很多人都会有一种“看不懂”他的电影的感觉。但这样的电影才是荡气回肠的佳作啊！

有时间去看看他的电影吧，让自己好好静下心来，沉浸在王家卫的艺术海洋当中。

I love army and I want to sign on.

2009-08-05T00:10:00.006+08:00

LOL I think I laughed so much tonight I almost developed a sexy set of 6 pacs.
All thanks to my fellow Turret mates. HAHAHA. Thanks for being part of my NS life, I really think I owe some of you a big one. My happiness meter just shot up to 150 after tonight's mass conversation. LOL I cannot really tell you guys what happened but ya, juicy... juicy... :D

Anyway I have been working on a lot of stuff lately. I just completely a poster for my wing tonight. I took 2 days to work on this and I'm quite proud of the work.

Oh oh, YY and I recorded this over the last weekend. Take a look at it too. :)

Okay that's all I have for you tonight. I am still trying to calm myself down from the intensive laughing just a few moments ago.

HAHAHA hilarious people.

7 Surprising Facts About Sleep.

2009-07-28T21:21:00.001+08:00

I chanced upon this on Yahoo! and I thought it would be nice to share it with all of you. :)

Can't sleep? You have plenty of company. About half of all adults experience insomnia on occasion, and 1 in 10 battle insomnia on a regular basis, according to the Cleveland Clinic. If you fall into one of those groups, chances are you're already following the tried-and-true rules for a good night's sleep: Don't have too much caffeine (especially late in the day), don't exercise late at night, keep your bedroom at a cool, comfortable temperature, and make sure your bed, pillows and linens are comfy. Those are all good tips, but there are lesser-known things you can try to help you get more rest.

1. Set a Bedtime Alert
Most of us already use an alarm to wake up in the morning, but sleep expert Michael Breus, PhD, author of Beauty Sleep: Look Younger, Lose Weight, and Feel Great Through Better Sleep, suggests setting it at night as well. "I tell people to set their alarm for one hour before bedtime, which reminds them to begin what I call the power-down hour," says Dr. Breus, who is also a spokesman for the Zeo Personal Sleep Coach. He says you should spend the first 20 minutes of that hour taking care of any necessary chores (like walking the dog or making your kids' lunches), then spend the next 20 minutes on hygiene (washing up, brushing your teeth, etc.), and save the last 20 minutes before bed for relaxation. You don't necessarily have to meditate, if that doesn't appeal to you; you can also do deep breathing exercises, read a book or even watch a little TV (as long as it's not too stimulating).

2. Don't Clear Your Mind
Experts say anxiety and depression top the list of reasons people have trouble sleeping. Part of the problem is that many of us just can't seem to quiet that internal voice that starts rambling on about the worries of the day. Of course, if you can clear your mind, go ahead and do it. But if that's impossible, don't force it--you'll only end up panicking about the fact that you're not sleeping, says Paul McKenna, PhD, author of the soon-to-be-released book I Can Make You Sleep. Instead, try slowing down your thoughts. "Practice saying anything and everything that comes into your mind to yourself in a slow, monotonous, drowsy tone," says Dr. McKenna. It doesn't matter if you're thinking about what to buy tomorrow at the grocery store or how a big presentation at work is going to go. If you slow everything down and talk to yourself in an even tone, you'll find it's that much harder to keep worrying (or stay awake).

3. Count Numbers--Not Sheep
Another great way to quiet those racing thoughts is to count backward from 300 by 3s, says Dr. Breus. Unless you're a math ace, you probably won't be able to focus on anything else while you're doing this, which means you'll end up distracting yourself from your stressful thoughts.

4. Get Up a Half-Hour Earlier
Yes, you read that right! If you're suffering from chronic insomnia, try getting up, for example, at 6:30 instead of your usual 7 wakeup time--no matter what time you fell asleep the night before. You may be extra-sleepy for a little while, but this is hands-down the most effective way to reset your body clock, says Dr. McKenna. It works because it teaches your body that it can't catch up on sleep in the morning, so eventually you'll start feeling drowsier earlier in the evening.

5. Consider Seeing a Professional
A sleep psychologist is someone who specializes in gathering info about your emotions and your behaviors specifically as they relate to sleep. Often found at sleep centers, a sleep psychologist can usually help resolve your sleep issues in just four to six sessions, says Joseph Ojile, MD, founder of the Clayton Sleep Institute in St. Louis and a spokesman for the National Sleep Foundation.

6. Don't Worry If You Can't Sleep Right Away
You shouldn't pass out the second your head hits the pillow. If that happens all the time, it's a sign that you're sleep deprived. (Ditto for nodding off during boring meetings and long movies.) Ideally, it should take 15 to 25 minutes from when you lie down to when you drift off to sleep, says Dr. Breus.

7. Go to Bed When You're Tired
If you're having ongoing sleep troubles, don't worry so much about the fact that it's almost midnight and you have to get up in less than seven hours. Forcing yourself to stay in bed when you're not sleepy is just going to contribute to more tossing and turning, says Dr. Ojile. Instead, get up, do something relaxing, and go back to bed whenever you do feel tired. You might end up exhausted the next day (but that was bound to happen either way under these circumstances), and the following night you should have better luck getting to bed earlier.

复刻回忆

2009-07-27T22:36:00.001+08:00

My favourite performance of last week's 星光.
:)

Here we go again.

2009-07-26T19:55:00.000+08:00

It has been 3 months into my army life.
If a blueberry pie would have been used to represent the duration of my NS life, I would have eaten 1/8 of it.

There hasn't been anything particularly unbearable or difficult, but somehow life has turned stale.
I am seeing lesser colours and my canvas is pretty much just black and white.

But I am working on things to make my life a little bit more colourful and... magical.

I really hope that I don't just pass time and accomplish nothing within these 2 years of my life.

Last but not least, I miss you.

蓝色星期一

2009-07-20T21:59:00.004+08:00

礼拜一的心情好像从来就不怎么样。但我又不能向老天埋怨礼拜一的存在，因为假如礼拜一真的被礼拜二给取代了，那又有什么意思呢？我照样会有"Tuesday Blues"吧。。。

所以说啊，有些事情是我们无法控制的。时间不会停留，而快乐的时光偏偏过得比什么都快，周末的时间永远不够用，恨不得一天能有48个小时。

不过人是十分矛盾的动物。如果给你一年的假期，你可能会觉得人生无趣，很想回到学校或工作岗位上，让自己有冲劲点儿。但没假期的时候我们却埋怨没时间休息，这里累、那里累，活的死去活来。

So, 如何在两极中找到平衡？
（以下可能对你来说都是一堆废话，但说真的我不care，因为这是我的网志，所以我想写什么就写什么。） :)

我的看法是，礼拜一至五的忙碌让我更珍惜周末。周末变成了一种促使我去努力的动力。我努力地奋斗了一个礼拜，所以我也会努力地挥霍我的周末，放肆地宠一宠自己，能多疯狂就多疯狂。想想，如果假日与工作日形成一对一的对比，那我们对假日的渴望可能也会跟着减少一半吧。因此我觉得工作五天，休息两天是个完美的公式，没有什么好去挑剔的。

Have a good week! :)

Cat Power - The Greatest

2009-07-19T21:43:00.001+08:00

A song for the lonely-Sunday-night people.

Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stop me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned you to dust

Melt me down
To big black armour
Leave no trace
Of grace
Just in your honor
Lower me down
That corporate slob
Make a watch
For a space in town
For the lack of the drugs
My faith had been sleeping
Lower me down
In the end
Secure the grounds
For the later parade

Once I wanted to be the greatest
Two faced, sad little rock
When things I couldn't explain
Any feelings
Lower me down
In the end
Secure the grounds
For the lack of the drugs
My faith had been sleeping
For the later parade

Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or water fall could stop me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned you to dust

In Defense of Harry Potter.

2009-07-18T22:41:00.000+08:00

I am talking about "Half-blood Prince", of course.

Caught the film last night with Lucas, Tania, Yijun and YY at Eng Wah Toa Payoh. The theater was (surprisingly) much better furnished as compared to the one we caught "Transformers" in. But that's besides the point.

For the past few days I have been seeing a lot of comments on FB with regards to this movie. Not a surprise, I mean people have been waiting for months just to see the latest installment to the series. But most of these comments are somewhat negative, and the most commonly seen ones are those which compare the book with the movie.

"HP was disappointing, it does no justice to the book."
"The book was so much better..."

Blah blah shit like that.

Okay first of all, I am no fan of HP.
I have not read any of the books and I really don't know (or care) what Voldemort (is this even the correct spelling?) is, why he wants to kill HP and all these stuff. I didn't even know Ron had a sister before stepping into the theater last night.

But I have to say that the HP movies can be quite entertaining to watch. If I'm not wrong I have seen the first three movies, skipped 4 and 5 and then just last night, I saw 6. So ya, you can see I am really not concerned about the plot or storyline. It's really just an ordinary movie that I watch during the weekends with my friends.

So back to the point. The comparison part.
I seriously think people should just give movie producers a freaky break. I mean like seriously, what do you mean by "It is not as good as the book?" How do you gauge how good it should be? Is there a "movie-and-book-comparison-meter" that I haven't heard of? Is it not up to YOUR standards just because certain scenes weren't shot the way you had imagined it to be like? Or are you pissed just because certain details were edited and therefore the movie wasn't an exact and faithful copy of the book?

C'mon.

I truly believe that the director can depict the movie in anyway he likes. Just like how you and your friends may comprehend certain parts differently, how is it possible that you can expect the director to come up with a version that EVERY HP fan is happy with? If you don't like the movie, why don't you go invite Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson to your house and film a version that suits your taste?

I actually felt that "Half-blood Prince" was one of the best in the entire series. I have never been so impressed with the art design and cinematography of a HP film. The colours were refreshing, the settings were well-crafted and the creativity was rich. The style has improved significantly and matured alongside with the actors. All in all, HP6 was a visual wonder you cannot afford to miss.

The only thing I disliked was HP's hair.
Seriously the make-up team need to do something to salvage his hair. It looks so retarded.

Okay ranting completed.

Do watch the film! :)

如果今天就是世界末日，你会做些什么？

2009-07-16T21:22:00.006+08:00

这个问题我曾听好多人问过，也在许多杂志与报刊上看过了大约八百万次。这也是许多（无聊的）心理测验最最最爱问的一题。

当然答案也没几个有创意的。大部分的人都会回答“高空跳伞”或“蹦极跳”之类的东东。这让我很迷惑。为什么要等到世界末日时才去做呢？是怕平时去做的话会出意外？所以等到世界末日才敢提得起勇气（反正都要死了所以还不如死的精彩一点）？我理解许多人一生中都没尝试过从那么高的地方往下跳，所以把它当成了一生的梦想。但是如果你好好去仔细想想，明天若是世界末日的话，哪会有什么笨蛋会呆在跳伞基地等待着你的到来，帮你搭理设施，实现你死前的梦想？就算有的话，当天也肯定处于一种爆满的状态，所以你就省省吧。

另外一个常听到的答案就是向自己暗恋已久的人告白。
这个答案我听了也觉得很奇怪。你跟她告白了又怎样，你们俩能够在一起的时间也只剩下一天而已。为什么不能早一点跟她说出心理的感受，非得等到时间不多的时候才热血起来？被拒绝真的那么难承受吗？如果女孩子也对你有意思的话，你可能会抓狂然后直接跳楼，因为如果你早点开口的话，你们说不定早就可以在一起了。好啦，唯一能安慰你的就是至少你们可以同年同月同日死。

扯太远了。:P

当我被问到这个问题时，我的答案只有一个——呆在家里哭。
真的，如果知道明天就是世界末日的话，你哪来的精神去跳什么伞，旅什么游？人的第一个反应肯定是哭。
所以我想我会把自己关在房间里，大哭痛哭，回想这一生所发生的大事小事，然后含着泪向上帝祷告。

最后我相信我会面袋微笑，在不知不觉中走入梦乡，一个人等待时辰的到来。

朋友，与你再一次的告别。

2009-07-15T19:33:00.011+08:00

从古至今，离别时悲凉的场面是许多文学作品中数一数二的重点。
李白的《送友人》与《黄鹤楼送孟浩然之广陵》都是在描述作者对友人的深情厚意，以及通过情景交融的手法来表达诗人与老朋友依依惜别之情。

但可惜的是，在我们生存的社会里找不到古人曾拥有过的凄凉壮景，所以“情景交融”这种东西根本就是无法达到的高难度境界（除非是在下雨，不然你就得是个住在山上的老和尚，否则别扯什么情景交融装诗意）。

不过一点永恒不变的就是离别时的伤感与不舍--因为这就是人的本质。
不管外在环境如何恶劣的转变，人与人之间的关怀与呵护是很难被任何东西给取代的。

这就是为什么在面对离别时刻的那一秒，活在1300多年前的李白会与今日的我有着同样的情操。

朋友，今晚你就飞了。
抱歉无法前去送机，但你知道我的心一直惦记着你。
希望回到学校后的你会继续加油，并且一定要记得好好照顾身子，不要玩疯了。:D
一定要保重，我肯定会常常想念你的。

记得人生就是不停的战斗，
不停，不停的战斗。

Fighting!
<3

Wash Your Hands Too (Parody of Wonder Girl's 'Nobody')

2009-07-13T20:38:00.002+08:00

Hahaha this is classic.

How I spent my weekend.

2009-07-12T18:24:00.004+08:00

Note: For those who are viewing this on FB, you need to get to my blog to see the picture.

一个有故事的人。

2009-07-11T23:39:00.006+08:00

踏入了兵营后，发现身旁的人个个都有一个很有力量个故事，等待着被挖掘出来的那一天。

我是一个很喜欢听故事的人，而且我也正好是一个很容易就能使人掏心挖肺的听众。可能我比较感性一点吧，所以聊天时总会不知不觉地谈到一些比较敏感或私人一点的东西。或许就是因为这些而成就了我的使命。

通常在聊到重点的那一刻前，我会问：“你真的不介意分享吗？” 对我来说这是一种最基本的尊重。然后，我就变成了听故事的人。

不管它精不精彩，我能确保的就是每个的故事都是很真实的。这一点是不需要去质疑的。这些发生在不同人身上的种种事情也不需要绚丽的词藻来表达，因为一句一句的真情流露才是最大的感动点所在。

有时我会听到一些类似于曾经发生在自己身上的事情。在这些时候，我的身体通常都会有些很不寻常的反应（例如发麻），然后脑海里会浮现的画面很多时候都是我不想再去触碰的大便回忆。不过我相信这一类的故事通常都是很有力量的，因为它能够挑战与激发一个人，让他重新去面对一个自己可能再也不想去面对的一个回忆。一旦他战胜了回忆，他也就战胜了自己。所以说，每个人的故事之所以有力量，并不在于它能使你自己多么坚强，而是在于它是否能在别人的身上留下相同的impact。

世界无限大，
我想听的故事还多着呢。

Okay my friends this one is in ENGLISH. :O

2009-07-09T19:43:00.013+08:00

Lol due to popular demand, I shall have this one in English.

I know it may be quite a chore for some of you to read and comprehend my previous posts but guess what, it's probably gonna stay like this for quite awhile. Please don't ask me why I choose to blog in Mandarin. I just think it's a more effective language for me to express myself with.

Anyway (by the way Anne, I DO know what 'anyway' is in Mandarin LOL), life after BMT has been pretty awesome. It's a blessing to be in OETI, and I have really nice officers, sergeants and course mates around. Praise the Lord for that. Can't really reveal much about what we do but basically it's all about working with tanks and stuff. In the end we will all pass out as techies.

Allow me to sidetrack a bit. The main reason why I wanted to revive the blog is so that I won't end up being brain-dead thanks to the army. Besides this, I feel that I am seeing more things in life now (or should I say I am becoming more appreciative?), so sometimes I feel the need to record these thoughts and reflections down. And this weblog, to me, seems to be the best platform for me to do so.

All in all, everything's going good for me and I am definitely highhhhh on life. :) I hope it's the same for you.

Remember to eat your peas and say your prayers!

God bless.

猫也有寂寞的时候。

2009-07-07T21:23:00.004+08:00

有时无聊的时候会想，猫的脑袋里到底装些什么？这个问题从小想到大，始终想不出一个能让自己满意的答案，所以每次看到猫咪可爱的举动时，我都会在一旁琢磨它当时的内心活动。

或许有些东西我们不会轻易去了解（除非我们有机会去亲身体验，）就好像恋爱好了，不管从朋友或小说中学到多少，看到多少，我们始终无法感受到它的甜与蜜（直到我们真的坠入爱河的那一天。）但好消息是恋爱的滋味根本就不是什么超难得到的东西，只要你肯努力，我相信每个人都会在今生今世找到属于自己的得真命天子/女。

但有的东西我们可能一辈子都不会明白，就好比以上我对于猫的好奇。除非有一天我非常“幸运”地变成了一只猫，要不然我可能永远都不会明白猫的脑子到底在想些什么。这个例子也让我联想到了“死亡”。

死亡后的生命让科学家们头疼了好几个时代。但不论科技多么的发达，我们对死亡的认识只能停留在“猜测”与“推测”，因为从古至今，没有一个人曾起死回生过（至少我不相信有），所以没有人能够跟我们阐述死亡后所会发生的点点滴滴。所以，我建议那些想了解死后会如何的人。。。赶快去跳楼算了。哈哈开玩笑啦。:)

不过话说回来，看来有些疑问注定要陪你一起走入棺材咯。。。

不寻常的礼拜天

2009-07-06T20:07:00.009+08:00

时间是礼拜天早上7点45分。
接到了一通来历不明的电话。当时心中有一种不祥的预感，好像会有什么事情即将要发生。

果然是如此。
详细的内容我就不多说了，反正都是因为沟通上的问题，导致我们原以为晚上七点开始的guard duty竟然变成了早上七点的戏码。慌了，当时真得慌了。

在日常生活中我们都知道错误最好是少犯，能避免就一定要避免。在兵营里更是如此，况且部队最讲究的就是纪律，所以处罚渐渐与错误画成了等号，有时还真的会让你吃不消。

Anyway, 在接到部队的电话后，我立刻打给了其他4个和我分配到了一起的好兄弟。结果不出我意料，从电话的另一端都传来了惊慌失措与迷惑不解的声音（当然还参杂了好几句超不必要但是能够得到谅解的脏话。）

匆忙的洗漱，然后以飞奔的速度把该带的东西疯狂打包。。。不寻常的礼拜天就这样开始了。

拜托老天爷不要再让这种事情发生在我的身上了。每搞一次乌龙我都会元气大伤，好比吐了几桶血似的，真的是要死要活啊。。。

不过值得谢天谢地的就是我们最后也没有得到什么样的处罚，可能是因为这的确是我们的第一次，所以长官也只好睁一只眼闭一只眼。

和我一起巡逻的是一位刚刚认识的好朋友。
在我俩聊天时，他给我留下最深刻的印象就是发生在他与女友身上的种种趣事。有一件事情让我想了很多，也让我发觉到了这个人的“真”。

他说他很喜欢和女友一起去看电影，但是因为自己与女友的英文程度都不怎么好，所以很多时候都搞不懂剧情，走出电影院通常都是一问三不知。在我的眼里，这是太可爱不过的了。两个人就算看不懂电影的内容，还是会一次又一次地手牵着手，走入电影院，一起享受拥有对方的时光。可见，对他们来说电影的内容根本就不是重点，重点是能够看到对方，和对方在一起，所以做什么根本就不重要。这就是爱情应该代表的精神，一种无法取代的纯真，一种不需宣扬的简单。

你好，部落格。

2009-07-04T21:42:00.004+08:00

久违了。

抛下这个网志已经有几个月的时间了，当然日子还是一天一天这样过着，我也照样在收集人生中的喜怒哀乐，以及对我来说各个都十分重要的回忆。

在部队里的日子并不好过，大部分的时间都花费在十分乏味的事务上，所以很怕自己总有一天会变成一个呆子。嗨。。。两年的时间可以说就得这样“荒废”掉了。对我来说唯一的安慰就是在兵营里所认识到的朋友都是一帮热血沸腾的好兄弟。一群人受苦总比一个人来的好，哈哈我这个人好烂。

话说回来，让这个网志“死灰复燃”的原因很简单，就是让我把生活上的点点滴滴好好的记录下来。九把刀曾说过部落格就是“乱写文学”，这点我十分赞同，所以不要期待太多大道理或是什么发人生省的东西。我想些什么就写什么，你管不着。:)

最后，希望各位有空就来这里看看。我一有时间就会在此添上几笔。
晚安咯！

爱请问怎么走？

2009-04-13T08:17:00.003+08:00

迷失方向
站在远山上的草地上
漫无目的地走向无法定义的目的地
空无一人的自由自在
到头来依然还是一个人
就算拥有了什么
也无法低档来势汹汹的孤寂

把全世界都收进眼帘
最后才发现
自己想要的根本不是全世界
就连一块蛋糕上的草莓也可能被人抢走
留下一地的渣子给你一个人收拾

得不到的我们奢求
得到后却不懂得珍惜
这种可悲的形势
主宰着每一个人的心灵

最后翻过山，越过海
发现自己仍是一个人
但爱了
也伤了
所以觉得值得了
就算真的是屡战屡败
你依然可能会选择卷土重来
因为这就是爱情
一个诱惑力如此庞大的一个东西
一个能使烫伤过的小孩再一次玩火的东西
一个让人奋不顾身的东西
一个能使一个人疯狂的东西

勇敢地爱
然后痛快地伤
放手一搏
你无法猜测下一个转弯会遇到的是谁

或许
这就是生命的无奈
爱情的精彩

Local Uni Application.

2009-03-16T17:55:00.004+08:00

Yay I've just completed my local U applications. :)

NTU:
1) Communication Studies (YAY FOR MASS COMM!)
2) Business

NUS:
1) Faculty of Arts and Social Science
2) Business

I'm really applying for NUS just for fun. I hope CS takes me in and that would be it. :)

Tips to conquer Kbox / Partyworld / Teo Heng / Chinatown cheap ass KTV.

2009-03-12T12:15:00.007+08:00

Okay so I went karaoking with June and Justin yesterday. Had a great time and it was great to discover 1 more person of the same frequency (June are you jealous?). :)

Since I am someone who visits the KTV often, I just thought that I should post up some tips that I would like to offer to those who enjoy singing as well.

1) The only drink you should order is HOT/WARM lemon honey. Try to avoid cold drinks 'cause it adversely affects your throat. Lemon and honey is a great combination for someone who's about to sing. :)

2) Always start with easier songs if you don't know of any forms of vocal warm up. For guys, you can start with Jay Chou's "Cai Hong" or Ah Xin's "Yi Shi De Mei Hao"... If you are an extremist, then go for something really high like Shin's "Si Le Dou Yao Ai" and po yin 800000 times and just leave the place. Okay no, if it is able to help you kai sang, then it should be fine, but just remember not to strain your voice.

3) Stand up when you sing a difficult song. This is important because you can borrow energy and qi from your diaphragm (or what we always refer to as dan tian)... If you sing for 3 or 4 hours straight with your voice (and not diaphragm), then you'll be screwed 'cause you'd be straining your voice too much. I have had that problem before, and that's why I couldn't carry on after the 3rd hour or so. Now that I've started using my dan tian, it's extremely easy to go for at least 4 or 5 hours. And oh, if you are unable to hit a very high note (and you insist on not using your falsetto), then bend down. When you bend down, you are forcing yourself to borrow energy from your diaphragm. :) You should try it next time. The key thing to this is that whenever you sing, you should be able to feel your stomach HARD. If you're too fat and you can't feel anything hard then that's just too bad, I can't do anything to help you.

4) It's okay if you think you sound shitty in your first few songs. Your voice gets better after awhile.

5) For guys doing female songs, you should drop the key to the lowest one of the system (usually by 4). For girls doing songs sang by guys, you do the reverse. Raise the key to the highest one of the system (usually by 4 as well).

6) Your vocal range expands when you keep practicing. I had problems hitting Sodagreen's "Xiao Qing Ge" last year but now I am able to hit all the notes. That's because I sing a lot and eventually my vocal range expanded. I am going to try Zhang Yu Sheng soon. HAHAHA okay I just realised Zhang Yu Sheng sounds so silly, it's like raw fish or something. Wow.

7) Spend wisely. Don't go for expensive packages. You can always find cheap KTVs around. :)

Okay that's all. Hahaha I hope these advices are useful. If you have anything you wanna add you may tag me.

Good day y'all!

Midnight stories.

2009-03-12T03:43:00.003+08:00

So the time now is 3:44 am.
I'm up not because I'm sleepless. I had a really long day and I slept at about 1. However just a few moments ago, I was awakened by some really loud knocking on my room's door.

I checked my cell and it was 3.30 in the morning. Why would my tenant (or anyone else) knock on me at such an ungodly hour? So I got up and opened the door, thinking that something bad would have already happened.

And I was right.

My house was raided by 20 rats.

Okay no that was a lie. HAHAHA I bet I got you.

It was the electricity. The house was cut off from the power as my kitchen tap was leaking and caused one of the plugs to be wet. It took me awhile to figure out which plug was the root of the problem and it was so retardedly difficult as I couldn't see a single shit due to the absence of light.

Through to this incident, I have learned 2 very precious and important lessons:
1) Never be stupid enough to put any electronic devices near potentially wettable places
2) Never accept a tenant who refuses to sleep at 3:30 in the morning. It's just -.-.

June is a scholar.

2009-03-11T14:03:00.002+08:00

June says:
Just like how I know I may not be able to get this scholarship because of the fierce competition present but yet I still chose to persevere in my love for education and submit this application.
WG says:
LOL U ARE CRAZY
do you want me to bao jing for you?
LOL i laughing dao bao
persevere in my love for education
THAT LINE IS JING DIAN CAUSE U CAN PERSEVERE UNTIL YOU SI BUT THEY BUUUUUU CAREEEEE
and who perseveres their love for education it's just retarded dao bao!
June says:
i am going to send i bu care
HAHAH
will i get kicked out of the country
WG says:
LOL yes
June says:
i send ah

Calories Burned During Sex (extracted from c4vct.com)

2009-03-11T04:49:00.003+08:00

LOL I can totally imagine you guys going through the list looking for what burns the most calories. :) Anyway it's just for laughs, don't be offended. :)

The Act of Insertion

If the man is ready (same vice-versa)		1/4 calories
If the woman is not (same vice-versa)		274 calories

Satisfying Partner (organ size)

Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss. A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside.

Normal size		22 calories
Oversize		15 calories
Tremendous		8 calories
Teensy-weensy		163 calories

Positions

Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other)		20 calories
Woman on top, man on bottom (Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.)		25 calories
From the rear (Mysterious variation)		40 1/2 calories
Standing: Both partners of equal height		18 calories
Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man		90 calories
While in traction (very useful during ski season)		124 calories

Locations

On a bar stool		20 calories
Rear of a Honda Civic		38 calories
In a phone booth, standing		14 calories
In a phone booth, lying down		274 calories
On an airliner, aisle seat		24 calories
On an airliner, middle seat		42 calories
On an airliner, window seat		30 calories
On an airliner, in the lavatory		100 calories

Possible Side Effects of Intercourse

Bouncing		7 calories
Sliding around		9 calories
Serious Skidding		12 calories
Full cartwheel		20 calories
Whiplash		27 calories
Knee burn		6 calories
Chafed elbows		5 calories
Chafed nose		11 calories

Sex Related Noises

Short gasps (per gasp)		3 calories
Wheezing		5 calories
Squeals		4 calories
Ecstatic moaning		11 calories
Low growling		8 calories
Squishing		10 calories
Shouting		16 calories
Screaming		18 calories
Urgent begging		22 calories
Any short speech giving partner directions ("Please don't stop," "Faster," "Just a little more" are common examples.)		25 calories

Approaching Orgasm

Letting go		5.5 calories
Controlling yourself		79 calories
Digging nails into your partner's back		11 calories
Trembling		15 calories
Shaking		20 calories
Shuddering		25 calories
Trying to keep eyes open		33 calories

Orgasm

Real		27 calories
Faked		160 calories

Orgasmic Intensity Scale

Expression didn't change		1/2 calorie
Face turned purple		15 calories
Orchestra swelled		6 calories
Magical explosions		10 calories
Blazing Sheets		25 calories
Earth moved		30 calories
Vesuvius erupted		47 calories
You began moaning in Latin		60 calories

Pulling Out

After orgasm		1/4 calorie
A few moments before orgasm		500 calories

Multiple Orgasms

For women:
2		14 calories
5		30 calories
8		47 calories
(Depending on greed her rate of recovery a woman can enjoy around 8 orgasms within an hour period without losing consciousness or disarranging her hair. As the number increases, however, she may begin to experience a form of "reduced sanity" that will temporarily interfere with her ability to cook, worship ,and ride a Moped.)
For Men:
2		21 calories
3		39 calories
4		57 calories
(For a man, its a different situation, perhaps due to physiological and biological reasons. Many men can enjoy up to 4 orgasms in an hour with little discomfort except for the slight ringing in the ears. With few exceptions, however, a man who tries to achieve more than 10 orgasms within that same period is flirting with irreversible brain damage.)

Special Orgasms

Clitoral.		15 calories
Vaginal		21 calories
Penile		21 calories
Scrotile		15 calories
Rectal		25 calories
Oral (can also occur during an especially good meal)		30 calories

Premature Ejaculation*

During insertion		2 calories
During intercourse (Approximately. 2 sec's or 3 thrusts after insertion, whichever comes first.)		5 calories
During foreplay		3 calories
Immature ejaculation (Similar to premature ejaculation except male acts childish and throws a tantrum.)		4 calories

Consequences of Premature Ejaculation

Even if you have a good heart, it takes much understanding not to feel like a victim when your partner climaxes after 3 sec's of intensive sex, especially if he immediately sits up to watch the football on tv.

For Women
Frustration		8 calories
Anger		15 calories
Violent mood swing		20 calories
Surpressing rage		25 calories
Not surpressing anger (In extreme cases, this can include cursing, nose tweaks, and gently massaging partner's head with a tire iron.)		65 calories
For Men:
Cursing		10 calories
Apologising		3 calories
Snivelling		5 calories
Pleading for mercy		8 calories
Begging for another chance (Note how unfair: Men never seem to mind if a woman has an orgasm after 3 seconds of sex.)		15 calories

Possible Side Effects of Good Sex

The first indication that sex was a positive experience will be a buzzing in the pelvic area and a clear complexion. You might also feel pleasantly light, as though you were dozing in a vat of cream cheese. If sex was really terrific, you feel dangerously drained, as though your body had been connected to a large milking machine for several days. Additional reactions include:

Swooning		6 calories
Palpitations		10 calories
Shortness of breath		5 calories
Perspiring		8 calories

Possible Side Effects of Bad Sex

A less-than-sunny desposition

1 calorie

Recovering

Un-entwining		3 calories
Regaining motor control of pevis (After especially tiring sex, you may feel numb from below the waist to the opposite wall. The result will be an inability to walk [put one foot in front of the other], which will seriously impair your chances of going to the bathroom or getting some juice.)		7 calories
Standing up		9 calories
Getting some juice		11 calories

Rolling Over and Going to Sleep

After intercourse (Classic behavior for shiftiness men who believe they've done their job and are now entilted to a rest. This "rest" may include snoring.)		18 calories
During intercourse (Women find this to be a subtle, yet direct way of suggesting dissatisfaction.)		32 calories
During foreplay (Indicates either an advance case of fatigue or a serious lack of interest.)		12 calories
Avoiding the wet spot		80 calories

Trying Again

If the woman is ready		5 calories
If the man is not		156 calories

Dreaming

Regular dream		2 calories
Wet Dream Add 5 calories if it occurs while in bed with your partner; Add 20 calories if your partner notices		16 calories
Wet Trance (Usually occurs in the presence of a sensual hypnotist.)		20 calories

Group Sex

Introducing yourself		3 calories
Overcoming shyness		8 calories
Swapping partners, willingly		4 calories
Swapping partners, unwillingly		62 calories
Jealousy (Partner having more fun than you are)		16 calories
Mixed doubles		26 calories
Being nice to everyone		100 calories
Anger (You suddenly realize that you're wanted for you body and not your mind. Difficult to cope with, especially if you have a Ph.D.)		10 calories
Finding your clothes		5 calories

Masturbation

For pleasure only		6 calories
For exercise, too		10 calories
For relief from tension		12 calories
To pass the time		7 calories
To avoid overeating		16 calories
To get in touch with inner self		10 calories
To get in touch with outter self		10.5 calories
To avoid insanity		24 calories
To avoid spending money on a date (In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping, and binges, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm.)		9 calories
Using your hand(s)		11 calories
Using your finger(s)		9 calories
Using tweezers		2 calories
Using an inflatable doll		24 calories
Using Any fruit or vegetable (Except watermelon or a sprig of parsley)		19 calories
Using a vibrator, hand-operated		12 calories
Using a vibrator, windup		9 calories
Using a vibrator, electric		5 calories
Using anything not mentioned here		50 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - purchasing the ticket		2.5 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - finding isolated seat		78 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - adjusting raincoat		3 calories

Typical Sex-Related Fears

Partner hates me for what I did		4 calories
Partner hates me for what I didn't do		8 calories
Forgetting the instructions in the sex manual		10 calories
Climaxing too soon		5 calories
Climaxing too late		6 calories
Not climaxing		20 calories
Partner thinks of me as a sex object		9 calories
Partner doesn't think of me as a sex object		47 calories
Partner will neglect to adminster last rites should I not recover from orgasm		88 calories

Personal Fears

Gigantic cellulite that shake and ripple during orgasm		6 calories
Stretch marks that look like a plowed field		8 calories
Penis envy		72 calories
Body odor of a disgruntled yak		25 calories

Getting Caught

By partner's spouse		60 calories
By your spouse		60.5 calories
Trying to explain		165 calories
Stuttering		28 calories
Throwing up (Calorie counts here are flexible, depending on type of spouse-whether understanding and open-minded, or narrow-minded and armed)		40 calories

Almost Getting Caught

Trying to remain calm		100 calories
Fright (includes trembling)		66 calories
Leaping out of bed		25 calories
Getting dressed in one large motion		300 calories
Thanking partner quickly		2 calories
Jumping out of window add 5 calories if window wasn't open		15 calories
Landing		1 calorie
Running very fast		50 calories

Man with the largest testicles of the world.

2009-03-09T21:21:00.004+08:00

LOL WARNING: THE ABOVE CONTENT IS FREAKINGGGGG SICK.

Anna says:
tai funny
sigh
if i lived in that guys village
i will laugh at him EVERYDAY
LOL
WGsays:
LOL!!!!
no u will go and touch it
if u bu shuang ta just take some knife and poke it
Anna says:
LOL
CHAO ER
all the semen will flow out
and make every woman pregnant
WG says:
LOL STOP THINKING ALL THAT IS INSIDE IS SEMEN LOLLL
Anna says:
then just yi wan ge babies with big balls
LOL
WG says:
it may just be like pus
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Anna says:
then just yi wan ge babies with big balls
WG says:
THAT IS LOLLLLLLLLLLL
DAMN SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Anna says:
LOLLLLLLLL
I AM LAUGHING TILL I WNA DIE
LOL!!!!
WG says:
LOLLLLLL I AM SOO GONNA BLOG THIS
Anna says:
LOLOLOLOL
I AM DYING

あなたに逢いたい

2009-03-09T13:14:00.004+08:00

成绩揭晓
又是一个心跳加速的浩瀚场面
时间从不留人
一转眼
又过了两年

有的时候
我们人一定要放下自己的执著
让自己好受一点
因为以硬碰硬
最后头破血流的
还是你自己

今天外头依然下着倾盆大雨
雨的联想也依然地在不断改变

但知道吗
只要有雨
我就会想起这时的
你
和
我

TWO MORE ROW.

2009-03-05T16:38:00.001+08:00

EVERYONE WISH ME LUCK!
2PM TOMORROW.

Results slip.
See you there.

Tuts My Barreh

2009-03-04T12:59:00.004+08:00

It is confirmed. Results day is 6th March 2009.

2009-03-02T14:53:00.003+08:00

From SEAB website:

Results for the 2008 GCE A-Level examination will be released on 6 March 2009 (2.30pm).

AHHH!
Okay at least it's not next Friday, which is Friday the 13th.

4 more days.

张EMO.

2009-03-02T01:24:00.001+08:00

五谋
四谋
三谋
二谋
Emo.

Overloaded.

2009-02-28T00:15:00.005+08:00

Ahhh I don't like this.

Glory 1's BBQ and 206's outing are both taking place tomorrow.
I'm probably gonna have to miss 206's outing because the BBQ was planned a few weeks back. Haven't seen my buddies for a really long time and I think this is a super rare opportunity to meet up. Oh well this is not good. AND WAYNE TEO! Lol haven't seen you in ages and we really need to meet up soon, like next week or something, since this week is just jam-packed.

AND I'VE GOT A LAST MINUTE TUITION TOMORROW! Have to wake up damn early.

Bad bad bad.

What I need to conquer...

2009-02-26T18:56:00.004+08:00

And yet another boring afternoon...

2009-02-26T15:45:00.004+08:00

雨がふっています。

Just some updates...

2009-02-25T02:22:00.006+08:00

To be really honest, I really miss this blog.
And of course it feels good to be blogging again.

It's okay that I've lost some readers due to the 2 months of MIA. But still, I do hope that whoever is reading can go over to my tagboard and drop me a message. I miss all the old readers so much. :(

Just a few updates on what I have been busy with:
1) Work. And trust me admin work sucks. Although the pay is really promising, I am sick of the job already. I've made up my mind to quit once I get my one month's pay and head over to F&B. The job has fully convinced me not to take up an office job next time. Oh well.

2) Tuition. I think one of the few things that I look forward to after a day of work is the tuition at night. Kenji and Benjamin are really fun to teach and it gives me a huge sense of achievement whenever I see them smile or understand something difficult. And I'm kind of picking up my Japanese again since now there's someone whom I can converse in Jap with. Heh.

3) Japanese. As mentioned above, I'm going to take my third language really seriously. My plan is to try to master Hiragana and Katakana within 2 weeks, and then slowly work on the Kanji.

The time now is already 02:35.
Work tomorrow. AHH!

Oyasumi.

Hello world.

2009-02-24T23:51:00.005+08:00

好久好久没有在自己的日记上添上一笔了
生活上的点点滴滴
不重要的会忘得一干二净
精彩的当然会不由自主地被刻在心头
有时写与不写也已经不再重要
重要的是自己对情感上的某种认识与累计

长假是寻找自己最好的时刻
走过的路无法用相机一一记载
因为有些事就是如此
是无法被复制或拷贝的
这就是现实生活中的悖论
人类虽在前进
但我们依然脆弱与无助

觉得自己长大了
这可能是种错觉
但有些错觉是有必要的

因为有了错觉
人生才会长出带刺的蔷薇
渲染在鲜红中的缺陷
情感中最珍贵的并不是快乐
而是夜深人静后的那种孤独与无助
这种猜不透的感觉是你无法逃避的空虚
这种感觉是泪流后的盐巴
这种感觉是种无可救药的求救

等到心花怒放
却开到了无法捉摸的荼蘼

WWWWW is the new LOL.

2009-02-11T14:39:00.001+08:00

"Lol" (AKA "Laugh Out Loud") is dead. We've killed it. All the cool kids have ditched the "lol." It's kinda hard to type. Well, not that hard, but still. And "ha"? That actually is too hard to type. We're going with "wwwww" or any of its variants: WwWwWw, WwwwW, wWwWw, WWwww, etc... The five Ws is purely arbitrary — more is welcomed! Those who spend time on the Japanese internet recognize the "wwwww" as being short for "warau" (笑う), the Japanese verb for laugh. So "wwwww" is the equivalent of "lol". The nice part about it is that its flexible. Meaning? If something is really funny, you can go "wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww." But if something is kinda funny, a "wwww" is fine. That is easier to type than "lolololololol," and like I said, it's flexible. LOL? Gone, done and dusted.

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Fly me to the moon~

2008-12-22T23:18:00.001+08:00

WHEEEEEEEE!

I'm flying off tomorrow! :O

I'll be inactive for a period of time... I hope you guys won't miss me too much. Teeheehee...

For updates just go to my FB, I'll be posting up photos from the trip.

Take care and have a blessed X'mas! :)

Loads of love,
xoxo,
God bless,
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
Whatever,
WG.

O-M-G.

2008-12-20T11:52:00.005+08:00

HELLO I AM A BLOG AND I AM DYING!
CALL 995!

Lame.

BLOGGG WG BLOGGGG!

2008-12-18T02:01:00.003+08:00

Teeheehee sorry for not updating for soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.

I've been busy with outings, shopping and having fun.
I had steamboat 3 days in a row. Crazy.
Stayover @ Deyong and Xuchang's place was fun. :D
Went shopping with Gabby today.
Changed 3.6k worth of RMB. Gonna get some HKD tomorrow or something.
Speaking of which, I am going to collect my China VISA tomorrow @ 9 (SO EARLY!!) and then I'll meet PT @ her office. :D
STILL HAVE A LOT OF STUFF TO BUY ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Oh oh, I saw this really sexy black jacket @ Esprit today. It's a bit expensive ($150) but I really like it. Asked around and most of my friends told me get it at Hong Kong, since the factory outlet there sells it at a much cheaper price. But then the problem is that the same design may not be in stock in Hong Kong since Hong Kong dumps all their unwanted stuff from every season to Singapore. :O That means whatever we get here in Singapore is what the Hongkies do not want. SAD.

Okay I am talking rubbish now.
I shall go sleep. :D

BYE WORLD!

PS: 5 days to flight! :O

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2008-12-14T13:05:00.003+08:00

BUSY BUSY BUSY!
Sorry for neglecting my blog for the past few days. :D

Missed out on Zoukout thanks to some stupid FOOD POISONING URGHH.
But the steamboat with Jiemeis was fun, even though it made me puke and stuff. HAHA!

I also went ktv-ing with June and Javier.
Hmm...

And I am planning the itineraries for my China trip that is about to take place in 9 days. -.-
Also there may be some last minute Kuala Lumpur trip with Javier and Wayne. :O
And I need to prepare X'mas presents, write cards, go shopping, pack my room, pack my luggage, make VISA and dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BZ
BZ

Heehee.
:)

Updates!

2008-12-10T14:35:00.004+08:00

Yoooohooooooo~

As you can see, I've made some efforts to make my layout more christmassie and I hope you guys like it. :D

Anyway the past few days have been wild. Other than work, I have been playing like nobody's business.

Anyway my ticket has finally been settled.
Can't wait for the China trip with YY and Lulu. :D

Shenzhen > Hong Kong > Xi An > Harbin
WOOHOO!

Gonna be away from December 23rd to February 9th.
Don't miss me too much! :P

I guess I'll have one more Bintan / Batam trip with 206 (if it happens)... And oh, last night was some great fun. :D Thanks guys.

Okay now I shall concentrate on finishing Ming Zhong.
:)

Bye world,
play hard!